God
She never misses church on Sunday, leads Wednesday night Bible Study class. Her kids call her a holy roller. When her husband moves south, she starts a Christian Online Dating Service, screen name is kittykitty. She struggles between saving money for Botox or Jesus.
Love
He's been burned so many times he's crispy. Downs Miller six-packs at the Trysting Place Pub. Writes sonnets that he'll burn later in the firepit. Waiting for money at the ATM, he wants to remove his heart-shaped tattoo, cover it up with a pitchfork.
Lust
What the hell kind of name is Penfield? she wonders while he takes a leak off the back porch. She leans to see fresh bruises in the dawn's early light. She rolls too far, ends up on the bamboo-planked floor, giggling. Creepy- crawls under the bed to dial 911 on her mobile phone.
Money
He can't recall the last time he was paid. Money doesn't grow on trees, his mother had told him. And yet, he glances out the finger-print smudged patio door and there, in place of leaves on his prized beech, are hundred dollar bills fluttering like iris in the lukewarm breezes.
Private
Those first days back. Horrible insomnia. 2 a.m. in their guest room, night sweats, bombs bursting in mid-air attacks. No proof, except those hacked memories he wishes he could erase. But he can't. He opens the adjacent bedside table, retrieves his dogtags. Cradles them in his palm.
28
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256 words
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The theme at 52/250 is Password.
Thanks editors Michelle, Walter and John!
Published at Fwriction, thanks editor Danny Goodman! http://www.fwrictionreview.com/post/6106178733/common-password-profile-users-god-love-lust-money
Damn, Robert. Really ... Damn!
This is really good.
Dang, James. Thanks so much!
Wow! Fantastic, Robert! One of my favorties by you.
Thanks. James. I appreciate it.
This is a great form. Works well. I like it, Robert.
Thanks so much, Sam. Also I appreciate the fave. That means from all of you!
I love it when flash breaks up in sections such as these. Really cool stuff.
Nice take on the theme, Robert! I like the idea that the words are keys to the characters. Well done. *
Thanks Tim and Kim (hey, there's some nice rhyming scheme there!) I appreciate your comments and fave (K).
I'm a big fan of these short, sectioned pieces. Look forward to seeing more.
I'm so happy to hear that, Tim. I'll send you something soon to your new zine.
These are very strong writings, each its own little universe of pain and regrets.
Loved the cryptic aspect of what is waiting beyond...
*
Thanks so much, Susan. You're the best!
Nice take on the theme, Robert, and nice set you pulled off as well.
So nice of you to stop by and comment, Christian. Thanks so much.
Oh, this was great. Great, great, great. You had me at kittykitty, Botox, Jesus. *
Aw, Quenby, you made my night! Thanks so much, this is so sweet.
Prof. Marshall McLuhan would be proud of these "thought probes" -- you've proven his theory correct; The Media is The Massage. McLuhan must have sensed these Micro fictions were the future.
"He's been burned so many times he's crispy." Does that make him a Krispy Kritter? *
Wow, you swing through the gamut of emotions with this one. Super, super stuff. Peace *
@ Ramon: Yes, this does make him a Krispy Kritter! And thanks so much for the mention of McLuhan. I am a fan! I appreciate your reading, commenting and the fave!
Linda, you are so nice to give me such kind feedback and support. Makes me want to hug you! There, I did. Thanks for the fave also.
Botox or Jesus! Really sharp micros, Robert. Love how you worked the theme.
Sara, thanks a ton. Your encouragement means the world to me. I really appreciate it.
"...he wants to remove his heart-shaped tattoo, cover it up with a pitchfork."
All of this is great. Love the concept and how the idea was born and the writing and structure. But the above excerpt will be the one I'll be saying inside my head for a good part of day. That's the moment for me that sticks.
Fabulous. I like the tatto part the best.
Sheldon- thanks so much. You know how much I am a fan of your writing, also. This is wonderful of you to read, and comment.
Jeffrey: I appreciate you reading, and commenting and thanks for the "fave." Means a lot.
like the botox or Jesus line. nice clincher at the end.
Thanks for commenting, Julia!
Love the structure of this, Robert - so compelling - all these characters leap off the page and dance *!
Marcelle, thanks so much, this was a blast to write. I really appreciate your comments and fave.
I'm normally not a huge fan of segmented "story", but these camera shots of these characters are so rhythmic and telling in their brevity that it is almost like they are happening simultaneously. Really drilled down into each word and persona. Nice!
Chiseled tablets of prose. Nice!
It's not like you need more praise or another star, but I'm sucker for great writing.
Oh. This is my favorite of yours, Robert. Huge fan of this structure, too. *
Thanks Tina...you know how I feel about your writing, too. Love it!
And Kathy, I am a huge fan of yours. This made my day from both of you. Thanks a million!
Like the form of this also, liked it when you read it at FIXX and signed on to hear it again.
Thanks, Laurel. Glad you enjoy it.
Wow. This is amazing. GORGEOUS writing. Sparse yet it cuts me to the core. *
Thanks so much, Jules. You are too kind. I really appreciate it.
It's just not right I can't fave this five times. Good god, can you tell what's in the water there? FAVFAVFAVFAVFAV.
Cool concept. You convey a good deal about these characters in very few words. Great impact.
These were wonderful! So many great lines within these.
Also so much really said in so few lines. They leave you thinking about them which is a good thing.
Faved for sure!
*
Thanks so much Catherine, Kari and Gloria. I really appreciate all of your sentiments.
Bravo, Robert! Worth the wait.
Thanks, Amanda. I really appreciate it!
Really nice. Each one a complete mini story, each with a fillip of the unexpected.
So nice of you to comment, Cherise! I appreciate your shared sentiments.
Botox or Jesus... if only there were a combo deal. *
Thanks, Jen! I appreciate it!
I loved these, especially the first and the last part. Succinctly written!
Thanks so much, Berit! I really appreciate that.
Raises so many questions in my mind - this reader desires, nay, DEMANDS follow ups! Never really thought about what the common passwords were before now. Hmm...
Gill, when "password" was the theme that week at 52/250, I googled the word and these apparently were the top 5 passwords used across the board.
I guess the passwords cover the whole gamut of human experience (though until today I would have thought "sex" rather than "lust," but now I know better). This is quite brilliant, especially "Private." Way to end things! *
Beate, yes, these passwords drew me in from the range of human experience a simple word might infer. Thanks for your comments, and for the fave, too.
This is an amazing collection of strange assortments. So unique!
i don't like botox, but i vote she should go for botox.
Tantra,
Thanks for your comments and your vote! I appreciate you stopping by.
Powerful prose poem. Very effective structure.
Gloria, thanks so much for your thoughtful comments.
This is experimental and unusual writing at its best. Congratulations on the publication in such a fine online journal, too.
Magical, like a magician pulling scarves from up his sleeves.
Gloria, a lovely image, thanks!
I loved this effect.
Jeanette, you are so kind! Thanks for the generous remarks!