Most read stories

I Must Slip The Batman a Fin

23822382 views2626 comments1717 favs

The Batman says it's his birthday. I take him at his word.

See Jane

23822382 views3232 comments1111 favs

Jane watched her mother remove her wedding ring with butter.

Hoss Men (continued)

23822382 views66 comments44 favs

"Fax the Beaver" was its last, secret title. The beaver is a dirty trick, and it belongs on the index card.

The Intervention

23822382 views1919 comments1515 favs

"You're publishing too much too / quickly. We think that's unhealthy. We want you / to slow down. You're becoming a fame whore."

Hotel Khadijah

23822382 views2727 comments1616 favs

"A prostitute of the Hotel Khadijah in Rahab fell in love with my father...."

A Simple Misunderstanding

23812381 views11 comment00 favs

With such an attitude, it is remarkable that Jerome Quinth would be the one to make first contact with the beings from Lepton Six. As near as authorities could piece together from the charred remains, the historic event happened innocently enough on on

Frankie's Girl

23812381 views22 comments00 favs

Frankie's girl had a habit of making any guy she walked past turn his head and lose his entire train of thought-we all knew it. Frankie was the only one who asked her out to have lasted long enough and worked hard enough to the point of putting a ring on

The Cool Report

23812381 views1616 comments88 favs

I didn't go to China, however. I would have gone there in debt wearing their clothing. I was afraid to owe even $4,000 (what I still owe) living overseas.

By 4th Grade at St. Paul’s Elementary, No One Believes in the Spanking-Machine-in-the-Closet of Sister Alice Elenita’s Office

23812381 views99 comments99 favs

Arthur farts. Pandemonium. Miss O'Kelly shouts, “Quiet!” 32 nine year-olds freeze. “Close your books, fold your hands on your desk, put your heads down.” Obedience. Silence. Until…

Ah'd love to kiss ya

23812381 views1414 comments1111 favs

“What was the line in the movie Dad?...

For Carol: Life Bursts Out

23812381 views1515 comments1010 favs

Life was small. It was tiny even, so tiny it was hard to see it sometimes. Life curled up to make itself even smaller, to fit into the kinds of holes that insects crawl into to get away from bigger insects. Life was sad. Life didn't want to be an insect.

Grace for Mao

23812381 views2626 comments1313 favs

I greatly enjoyed imagining each wonton was one of my personal enemies and then biting it in half and pretending I could hear it screaming piteously as I chuckled and dragged out the chewing.

Postcard

23812381 views2020 comments1313 favs

A tiny story, 55 words, just enough to fit on a . . .

kroy hearts destiny

23802380 views1212 comments1212 favs

r luv iz gud enuf 4 a tat2

Retreat

23802380 views1717 comments11 fav

We are in search of free hor d’oeuvres, me and Jane – Jane from H.R., Jane who is exactly as plain as her name implies, Jane, who, for now anyway, for this company retreat, is my kindred spirit in broke-ass hangover land.

Crocodilian

23792379 views4343 comments2121 favs

it ate her and then I was next in line

Joan of Dark

23792379 views1515 comments1515 favs

What happens in heaven stays in heaven.

Feeling Marlene (from OPEN CITY Magazine Number 16)

23792379 views33 comments33 favs

I got your card in the mail via my ex-wife in Saskatoon. On it you wonder where I am, if I am still writing, and if I have any stories I would send for you to look at because you think I should be published, too.

The Saurians' Revenge

23792379 views55 comments11 fav

I’ve never liked birds. There’s something smug about the way they look at us, we prisoners of gravity, something self-congratulatory in their songs. Maybe I’m just projecting my own feelings about being stuck on the ground, attributing attitudes t

Realizing I Have Not Moved From My Bed for Two Days

23792379 views99 comments99 favs

Quite frankly you are ruining my life. / I know you don’t mean to, but you are.

Better than Chocolate

23782378 views77 comments44 favs

Teddy laughs like a machine gun. People back away when they hear him. Every time I see him at work, I try to make his skinny body rattle. I would never back away.

I will be a child again

23772377 views88 comments77 favs

A child in a new world/ by way of the old I won’t remember.

10 Unofficial Jobs Jake Baker has Never Got Paid For

23772377 views99 comments66 favs

Not that their pa really needs the suitcase; he's been coming and going for so long it doesn't matter. The suitcase's just for show. A final goodbye.

The Duck, the Clock, and the Condom

23772377 views99 comments77 favs

Every night famous authors read not only to us, but to a duck. A wild female who emerged from the lake just as we were gathering, settled her gray-brown feathers down not three feet from the podium, tucked her head inside her wing, and remained there. If the duck liked…

Numb And Number

23772377 views55 comments33 favs

He looked up as he reached the intersection, and crossed as it cleared. His head was down again as he walked toward his car, which was parked beside a schoolyard, where junior high students were involved in an after-school game of touch football. He smi

In the hot seat

23762376 views11 comment00 favs

I sighed and looked deep into his eyes. “There is nothing more powerful than denial.”

Colin Powell's UN Clown Show

23762376 views11 comment00 favs

Not that Dick Cheney gave one rusty rat's ass about what the UN might want. Fuck those poop countries!

How to travel with your Demons (5)

23762376 views66 comments55 favs

She believes that this started with a phone call when she walked out of the deli yesterday. She believes that it started when it was snowing this morning in Brooklyn, waiting for her car to arrive, but the truth is, this journey began a long time ago.

Moses Reborn

23762376 views22 comments11 fav

Influenza Jones knew she was Moses. Reborn, of course, because the real Moses had been dead for longer than Influenza could remember. It didn’t matter that she was a woman and Moses was a man, she knew what her body say and her body say she be Moses. Sh

And Furthermore

23742374 views2323 comments88 favs

clickety-clack, not.