2275 5 3
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So she leans over the patio table like that model in that magazine ad and then takes a sip of her blended coffee drink as if a director had said to pretend the straw is a penis. As if this director only just shouted, “And you're a dirty, dirty girl, and
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227556
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Being a grandparent is most joyous when deliberately subversive.
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227464
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"...if Rosie O'Donnell were to attach a horn to her forehead, she'd move up the ranks as the deadliest creature in the world."
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2274143
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Tyler has a Mars bar in his jeans pocket. It’s warm and soft. He tries to insert it.
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227365
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Our problems started with a few back and forth texts of emojis late one night. The next evening, a Friday, typically my poker night with the guys, my girlfriend came to the door.“You brought over pizza, how nice,” I said. “And, oh, gosh, look at that, a…
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227300
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The French 751 1/2 ounces of cognac1 ounce of lemon juice1 teaspoon of sugar6 ounces of champagne For the rest of that night, everything Mickey looked at appeared to have a halo of music, something nearly visible that he could almost …
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227110
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I sighed and looked deep into his eyes. “There is nothing more powerful than denial.”
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2271128
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I write in the morning when the world is bendy.
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2271147
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I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY TO YOU, she lisps, and, with this, the fissure in the man’s head reaches the bottom of his chin and the hollow head splits in two.
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227000
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Calmly I rang the bell for Mrs. Madison and sank with some relief onto the ottoman. In a crisis, a calm head and decisive action are called for. The housekeeper would surely know what to do.
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2269149
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I passed Buster Keaton on the way to work this morning. He was standing, hands in pockets, at the corner of Riverview and Keil. It was the young Buster, handsome and still strong enough to pin down the scars that marked his childhood. This was the Buster
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226920
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I wore a padded bra. Proud of my tits. D. ordered a Bloody May, I had a vodka tonic. After the second drink I slipped out into the fog, and smoked a little weed. I could see Long Island College Hospital across the street. To my right, the BQE rose up
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226953
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For the woman with no arms, life is a constant dexterity demonstration
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226963
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“Hello, this is Natalie Silverman, I’ve been tying to get my prescription filled for over a week. ... Maybe you recall, you did my brain surgery last spring? I’m sorry that there’s still a balance of over eight thousand dollars. I hope you don’t hold tha
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2269012
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"I called him a fucking loser and left."
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22682111
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“When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”
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226886
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It was my grandmother's idea of a joke, but I never realized she was joking when she repeated it every Thanksgiving. She would sit at the head table just before Uncle Leon would carve the bird and ask, "It's an American holiday. Shouldn't we be roasting an eagle…
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2268119
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Traveling with a live chicken on a city bus is an experience I hope never to repeat.
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22681613
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The Bond Trader begins his morning with coffee and a hit of LSD.
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226777
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The suspended heart became an oracle of sorts. Hung from a string, immersed in the kind of glass container in which tulips grow, it was located between Bath and Body Works and Kleinfelter's Jewelers at the north entrance of the mall. Someone had lost it,
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226799
|
feeling obligated to write/ is like feeling/ obligated to fuck.
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2266209
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“Your mother has problems,” he told the kids.
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22662617
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The Batman says it's his birthday. I take him at his word.
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226510
|
“Honey, honey.” He tried to take her hand but she pulled away. “This is about the cup. Don't make it about us.”
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22652824
|
The locals cut stone in quarries, built elevators at the Cummins plant in Columbus, or brewed shine back in the hills between Bean Blossom and Gnaw Bone.
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226573
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Smoke is pouring outta my ears! (And outta my mouth and nostrils, but that's normal.) The Fast-o-matic Supermart has changed their coupons. Now you can't swap them for plastic surgery. So all those tubes of New Orleans-style Cottil-i-Lard dog sausage…
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226521
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It was too young to be love.
We were 5,
a buzz-cut me,
and you,
plated with babyteeth
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226323
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I am remembering this day for all days. Remembering. All days. Always. This is the day you threw the TV out the upstairs window. I'm remembering. Always. This is the day that started with you shaking the toaster over me so all the crumbs fell out.…
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2263193
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"And you’ll forgive my sayin’, your Maggie’s in heat, and if ya want to keep her you’re gonna ‘ave to fight. To be sure after this they’ll leave ya alone.”
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22631413
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