Most read stories

Fortunately the Future Is Behind Us

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When you finally arrive, when you are bounced from Bingo for calling out too many false Bingos, may the mothers be there to lift the children off your soul. May you see the fiery red word Psychic above the doorway underneath the green

Pension Plan

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Let's put a cork in this drain.

Untouched By Me, Alas!

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Another run-in with the police happened one night in Elmhurst. I was seeing this girl I'd met in my Shakespeare night class at Elmhurst College. She and I and Andy and a friend of hers, I think, were parked in front of her house, drinking a six pack of beer when her…

The Grand Assembly of the RaZahn

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This anachronistic portion of the novel opens up a new and revelatory portion of the story which clarifies much of the mystery surrounding the developments.

“What Is Poetry Anyway?” He Said While Looking at the Sink Holding a French Fry Aloft

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—mashed potatoes / with emeralds in it—

Letter

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I'm writing you this letter played on a cherry flute. I'm sending it along through the poem's cloud of incense. The only delivery system I still hitch up for long distance pitching. I'm writing you a letter you'll probably never read. Never…

The Poet

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It dawned on herthat her imagination hadswollen beyond belief

Memory Theater

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In a space capsule he is an astronaut. In his spacesuit he is dressed like chewing gum.

Alpha Three

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Jerry turned away from the window to face the box on wheels. Its camera would scan his face, looking for the answers.

The Case of the Incinerated Spinster

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There by the opposite doorway opening onto the thinly carpeted kitchen lay—well, what seemed to be all that was left of Miriam Flagellporte . . .

The Nude Pianist: A Novel: Chapter 59

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When I returned to Brooklyn, I discovered some explicit nude paintings of a former student of Francesco's from the Art Students League.

Ripped from the Headlines

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Their relationship had proved volatile. The husband had gone missing. The wife had gone dead.

Outing

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My friend and I were arranging the things in my closet because we literally had nothing to do but he found himself in my house again, which he described to me like a disease...

Birthday Money.

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4 sentences

The Man Who Memorized Kubla Khan

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Weave a circle round him thrice And with bemusement shake your head, For he on cod and beans hath fed And drunk the beer of Paradise.

for the queen of lapis lazuli

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you kissed me, once,/ kindergarten, recall--/ behind my ear./ called/ 'bee sting'

The Colony of Voluntary Exiles

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Voluntary exiles spread fears and feces, diseases and monstrosities, all the suffering and suffocation, ruthlessness and rootlessness of the world, just like a horsefly that cheekily spreads its filthy eggs in the most paradisiacal corners of the earth. Hence the…

Edward Ogle the Fifth

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Roaming beetles knitting needles chopstick counter attack.

Professional Judgment

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Biting my tongue instead of lashing red stripes

One-Sided Conversation

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[I STILL CAN'T GET THE "CENTERING" FORMAT THINGEE — WHAT? "JUSTIFY CENTER"? THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED? YEAH — THAT ONE! TO WORK! WHAT THE—]

On a Son Turning Twenty-One

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The rest is Scots, people for whom a taste is enough and a lyric’s as rare as a dragon or a poet named MacDuff.

Peace be with you

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Published in Calamities Presshttp://calamitiespress.com/2014/08/24/peace-be-with-you-slippy-realism-by-joao-cerqueira/ Peace be with you Jesus returned to earth by walking down the middle of…

Frederick and Sarah

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They'd driven the car there but had lost the keys so that it simply sat out in the yard, the yard of the house they couldn't leave because they'd lost the keys to the house as well as to the car, so they were kind of stuck. Their neighbors…

Keep more opinions to yourself

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You read your fortune cookie:

There.

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There: you see a woman who has laid hands on the man she walks with. Tomorrow she will kill herself. Let me speak her life. Born alone, without event. Moon, gibbous. Month, Julius, the tail end. A Leo. Many other signs and wonders seen to have been…

Shiver, 43

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, that smiley lush would shake rattle and quiver the day long no matter the temperature.

The Passing of Odd Fellows ---- Tales From the IV

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The appointed day came without much fanfare. The day was gloomy, but it would do. They climbed to the roof of the house to a small landing where Smiley placed the tiny piano stool smack dab in the middle. As soon as Ethan sat down Smiley rotated the chair

Tin Foil Hat Sold Separately

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When I finish recording this tape, I will bury it under the azaleas in my front lawn. I have left instructions for my attorney that, on the first full moon after my death, he should have Oliver Stone dig it up during the dead of night and deliver it to Ji

Owen's Song

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"I hate people"

Spliced from the scraps on the cutting room floor by a young intern from UC Berkeley while Brando studied her profile in 1959

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Bogart frowned, said, "How do you do that?"