Most read stories

Geek Squad

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Big hair shoulder pads hell no.

Untouched By Me, Alas!

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Another run-in with the police happened one night in Elmhurst. I was seeing this girl I'd met in my Shakespeare night class at Elmhurst College. She and I and Andy and a friend of hers, I think, were parked in front of her house, drinking a six pack of beer when her…

Submission

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Periodically I try to vacuum up their eight-legged asses but they hide in the cable drop.

Attacking Panic

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I'm panicking trying to think of the next line in this poem

Tin Foil Hat Sold Separately

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When I finish recording this tape, I will bury it under the azaleas in my front lawn. I have left instructions for my attorney that, on the first full moon after my death, he should have Oliver Stone dig it up during the dead of night and deliver it to Ji

The Ghost's Tale

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Don’t worry, she said It’s not blonde down there But she is wrong It’s just as blonde down there As anywhere The light down along her arms For instance The down along her cheek On the back of her neck Her thighs Apparently I am n

WILD

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Most days you couldn't win; the constant nag from the fact that it was all a game was your only comfort. I was at the unemployment office again. The gal at the counter'd seen me enough to know when the printer was out of ink so she could walk away.

Little Box of Courage

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Something I loathe even more than children are Floridian Drivers. It's not even because of their horrid driving capabilities, but more so because of their attitudes. Within the confines of their comfy little car, they are able to build up the…

Buster

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I should care more.

Ideal Man

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“Mirela,” I said. “Mirela, Mirela, Mirela.” I must have told him a hundred times, no exaggeration. “What the hell kind of name is that?” I ignored him, lit a smoke and watched a group of teenage girls as they laughed their way…

Tendrils

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you stand ashore

"Not like a duck"

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with its head cut off

If You Trace Even One of My Words

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with a finger I will (let you) know. If you mean even just one given look at the moon I will know that, too. If you peel off one lonely star and put that shining shell in your watch pocket for later or to skip across your sad …

gravelortian part 17

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Biting off your own tongueBlistering boils, stumps of burnt hairChopping your hand off with a dull axeDrowning in a swimming pool of blood and pissDrinking dog puke from a brown paper bagEating the intestines of your uncle three months deadFalling into barbwire covered…

Hot Rocks

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We go to the spa on my wife’s day off and get a manipedi. A swarm of little women pounces and works on our fingers and toes.

for the queen of lapis lazuli

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you kissed me, once,/ kindergarten, recall--/ behind my ear./ called/ 'bee sting'

The Girl With the Bobby Pin Hair

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She had covered her laughing mouth, trying to prevent him from seeing a storied past.

Rubble

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My mind fabricated the smell of gunpowder as I pushed down.

The Roses of Gettysburg

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Mothers and sons and war, an old story...

Brains

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My memory is like tracks in the snow. My memory is cookie dough. My memory is dirty tube socks.

Supermarket Limbo

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As soon as a complication emerges, the obvious choice is to move to another line. But I don't. I can't.

Roza

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Very upsetting morning. I've fallen madly in love with the cat upstairs named Roza. She's one of the sweetest cats I've ever met. Her owner is a retired Romanian woman about my own age named Ingrid. Roza has one bad eye and one good eye. The bad eye looks like a…

“What Is Poetry Anyway?” He Said While Looking at the Sink Holding a French Fry Aloft

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—mashed potatoes / with emeralds in it—

The Poet

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It dawned on herthat her imagination hadswollen beyond belief

I am, I am not.

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I am— a plan in progress. I am motion in motion, a direction headed in the right direction by way of an off beaten trail of misdirection.

Spinneret

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It's true. I like to walk on the ceiling. But please. Don't hold it against me. The ceiling is cold. Nobody lives there. Just a spider. A curious arachnid. She lets herself down sometimes. If I'm on the bed, trying to sleep, staring at the ceiling, watching her…

There.

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There: you see a woman who has laid hands on the man she walks with. Tomorrow she will kill herself. Let me speak her life. Born alone, without event. Moon, gibbous. Month, Julius, the tail end. A Leo. Many other signs and wonders seen to have been…

Shiver, 43

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, that smiley lush would shake rattle and quiver the day long no matter the temperature.

The Infamous Kiss

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When the sailor heard the 2nd World War had just ended He grabbed the woman in the white dress Bent her backwards in Times Square And kissed her real good And the photographer Just happened to be there At the right moment But then As

Lester Young, Grand Daddy of Cool

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Young is credited with the first use of “cool” as a expression of approval, and he embodied the concept in his life and in his playing. His only problem was he was born too soon, in 1909.