Renoir: Le Moulin de la Galette
by Jerry Ratch
Crowded into the heart are impressions past
These are not recognized in the available light
of the present. So they sit in the dappled shade
drinking, the clear glass partially filled with
red liquid. Hat tilted back. Black top hat
Straw hat with black band. Studying man with pen
in hand. The band playing somewhere. Politicians
explaining thoughts to politicians, within earshot of two
ladies, and a man leaning against a tree. The rouge on her
high cheek is red. We all wear rouge it seems
Straw hats alleviate the weight of things
Many of the women concentrate on the gentleman
Perhaps the man leaning against the tree is speaking
quietly to the woman in green, who is pregnant
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Author's Note
from the painting by Renoir
Other stories by Jerry Ratch
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I like it.
One suggestion: cut out the words "various and..."
Good poem, Jerry.
"Straw hats alleviate the weight of things"
Love this!
My two cents:
"Crowded into the heart are impressions past
These are not recognized in the available light
of the present. So they sit in the dappled shade..."
vs.
Crowded into the heart are impressions past
that are not recognized in the available light of the present, so they sit in the dappled shade...
"The rouge on her / high cheek is red"
Love "high cheek."
Isn't all rouge red? Consider something like:
"The rouge on her / high cheek is red like the liquid in the glass."
"We all wear rouge it seems
except a few."
vs.
"We all wear rouge it seems"
(stronger, more definitive, more startling)
"the woman in green, who is pregnant"
vs.
"the pregnant woman in green"
Cheers!
Good point, Matthew! I can't remember why I left that in.
Gone now!
Thank, Bill!
Love your descriptions, especially "dappled shade". Lovely.