Alphabetical stories


758758 views1111 comments44 favs

I thought of you todayand what you put me throughthe time you saidwe couldn't rest.

I A Dog

952952 views44 comments11 fav

I am a dog – four legs, a tail, a carefree enough manner, I do this, I do that, get into fights, sniff the ground and so on

I Ain't Your Kissin' Cousin - song

828828 views77 comments66 favs

I ain’t your kissing cousin That’s pretty plain to see Baby, keep your pretty lips Far away from me I ain’t your kissing cousin That’s pretty plain to see You’re really very pretty Come kiss me and we’ll see We don’t live in a barnyard

I Am

10891089 views99 comments44 favs

When I was a boy, I always wondered if Dad were black. No one in our small town looked like Dad. He had the thick features of an Arab. If he let his hair grow, it piled up in messy loafs on his head. Of course, I never asked Dad about any of this. I wasn'

I am Falun Gong - excerpt (Bai)

157157 views00 comments00 favs

“Woohoo! I told you it’d be as stinky as pack of copulating squids in here, Mr. Tong. We’ll have to get this mess cleaned up as soon as you’re done. Well, alright then, go ahead and look around!”

I am Falun Gong - excerpt II (Jeremy)

221221 views00 comments00 favs

...some cultivated energy escaped through generations of oppressive inertia and converged in the lizard’s gross actions and then within Jeremy’s father’s mind as his tongue stirred and he screamed great guttural things in his son’s ear...

I am going to shoot you, but first, an Essay

742742 views22 comments22 favs

Quickly enough, it became clear, however, that this was really all about offers you could not refuse, allegations you could not contest, arrests you could not understand and acts you would not survive.

I Am In Frequent Contact With You-Know-Who

12651265 views88 comments44 favs

"I am in frequent contact with you know who, and am able, most of the time, to surreptitiously send messages all day long every day, whenever I am inspired."

I Am Not A Careful Reader

970970 views77 comments55 favs

What's the weirdest thing you've ever used as a bookmark? I work in a library. I've seen that, and more.

I Am Not a Corpse

24812481 views5757 comments4040 favs

A corpse cannot cry.

I Am Not Like All The Rest: Funny Lines From Online Dating Profiles

532532 views1010 comments99 favs

After becoming single at age 62, I joined an online dating site. After a year of perusing profiles and meeting men for coffee, staying single is starting to look better and better to me. But I've stayed on the site, in part for the pure enjoyment of…

I am not theirs and they are not mine

625625 views22 comments00 favs

My first year I hated how big and unruly the plants got.

I Am Quantum

705705 views22 comments00 favs

He had a lean build, except, remarkably, his midsection was perfectly barrel-like. As if he kept an alien lifeform in his belly, cultivated by years of Pabst and Yuengling transfusions.

I Am Really Bad at Titles

862862 views1313 comments1111 favs

The hair on my arms have greyed, or so that's how it looks to me. It's been 12 years since we last spoke. I think I haven't aged too well. I bought a rocking chair.

i am so fucking unsold

13621362 views55 comments44 favs

i am wire i am wiredi am soaking fucking tiredi am sorry i am coldi am so fucking unsoldi am endlessi am statici am past lost time fanatici am wounded i am seethingi am bothered angry leaving.i am metal i am wateri am sister fucking daughteri am nothing i am lazyi am…

I Am Speckles the Clown

865865 views77 comments44 favs

Food is silly. Eating is silly. Yet the camaraderie of sharing a table is not silly. It is sacred. It becomes silly when the jello arrives.

I Am the Cheap Man

754754 views00 comments00 favs

I considered my choices, then asked the question that has brought my wife so much pain over the years. "Which is cheaper?"

I Am the Poet Laureate

728728 views44 comments44 favs

I am the Poet Laureate of my bedroom I am the Poet Laureate of 6065 Chabot Road, Jokeland I am the Poet Laureate of the Loser Café I have wind in my shoes if not my hair I am the Poet Laureate of Karmic Impulses Of tabloids and gossip I am

I Am the Poetic Kiss of Death

987987 views66 comments33 favs

My poems have appeared in four different publications; three have died shortly after they ran my stuff. Coincidence, or something more sinister?

I am the Ship

513513 views00 comments00 favs

I'm the vessel that'll sniff out the wharf's of old,they call me bold for bounding seas,they whispers rumors of my unstable ease,what's a life without vanishing into the falling pink fold,Ululating tides spray brisk bounties of water on board,squabs with new wings…

I am very few of the things I used to be

554554 views11 comment00 favs

Focusing on reflections of clear lines on scummed glass, reflexes not quite as fast as they used to be, seeing things but not clearly, straining, these muscles worn out servos, grunting, can't quite bring things together, but why do this to yourself. More pointless than…

I Am Wearing Stolen Socks

10081008 views11 comment00 favs

I am wearing stolen socks. Not because I haven't any of my own, and not because they are an exact fit. Only because they soothe my emptiness inside.

I am, I am not.

640640 views00 comments00 favs

I am— a plan in progress. I am motion in motion, a direction headed in the right direction by way of an off beaten trail of misdirection.

I and a Friend Eat Burritos

589589 views11 comment11 fav

My friend and I were talking while having burritos (some days, it is as if all we ever eat are burritos, existentially speaking) and I was looking at the way he inserted that shaft of meat in his mouth and thought him prodigious for his technique

I Ask You, Erin it fair?

732732 views22 comments22 favs

In the privacy of a booth?

I Beat Myself at Chess (revised)

10481048 views77 comments00 favs

There we sat, myself and I, at a small folding table in the middle of the lab beside the main, l-shaped workbench. The lab was empty - always was - except for the two of us.

I Can Sacrifice My Self

208208 views00 comments00 favs

The sacrificial tendency is a real ugly one A pound of flesh, because it grows back But gnarled and scarred For you, So you may smile or cry Whatever you need How about an ounce of truth? How about I make a maze And you walk through…

I Can Sing Like That

580580 views11 comment00 favs

Here lately Daddy's been talking bout' filling momma full of holes. Not like he would do it cause' he likes talkin' just to hear the words come out even if they don't mean anything to anyone but him. But just to be on the safe side I went and hid them shells cause' he's got…

I Can Take Satan

995995 views1010 comments99 favs

It was all I was convinced / in designing the encounter.

I Can't Breathe

272272 views66 comments55 favs

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."--Desmond Tutuand all the animals are migrating away from us. That can't be good. I can't breathe and the moon is on fire. I can't breathe and the ground is starting to rise…