| 120  13  3   
 | Right there is where I lived when I was five.  The walls were paper, I was afraid of the neighborhood kids, and my dad broke the tv during the World Series. | 
		
		
			| 30  10  1   
 | My friend says there's some kind of bug that bites its mate's head off after they have sex. | 
		
		
			| 28  5  1   
 | Bert takes care of Number One.  He's not interested in the birds of the air or the beasts of the field. | 
		
		
			| 9  0  0   
 | When the honeymoon was over, it was over.  This was half a dozen  years later.  When we had tired of everything else, we tried watering the plants. | 
		
		
			| 39  16  3   
 | We waded in the creek at bottom of the canyon, and I showed her the ladybug tree, where in season the tiny creatures formed a coat inches thick on the tree trunk. | 
		
		
			| 1782  9  3   
 | One night we were invited out for dinner, and we got into a knock-down, drag-out that afternoon.  My wife got so angry I had to hold her down on the bed. | 
		
		
			| 423  40  22   
 | Still - it confused me when he confessed that he hated to see a woman "bare". | 
		
		
			| 2272  27  11   
 | As soon as she left, I sat down at the computer. Booted up. Read my e-mail, then looked at pictures of bare-naked ladies. | 
		
		
			| 2500  28  17   
 | If you outlive me, she said, it won't be because I smoke but because of what you put me through when you quit. | 
		
		
			| 1547  2  1   
 | the Griot Grrrls stopped playing their distinctive brand of power progressive acoustic worldfunk at open-mics around campus | 
		
		
			| 3229  32  19   
 | My wife goes away for a few days to the little town where Hitchcock filmed The Birds.  Her sister goes along.  When she comes back, I ask her if she had a good time, and she says no. | 
		
		
			| 19  5  0   
 | The turkeys are big.  They look like ostriches when they run. | 
		
		
			| 17  1  0   
 | Jake woke up Monday morning with a song in his heart.  His wife was in the shower, and Jake stood in the doorway of her bathroom singing “Happy Birthday” to himself. | 
		
		
			| 27  6  1   
 | Whenever I put one over on my wife, she gives me a look, then curls her fingers and scratches the air. | 
		
		
			| 1887  10  6   
 | He kind of enjoyed living by himself.  It was nice and peaceful. |