Most recent stories

Though I'm NEVER Drunk, I'm ALWAYS Disorderly (memoir)

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1987. Recently, I told a teenager who was smoking a cigarette in an elevator that he should put it out. “You a cop?” he asked.

The Sin Eater

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Priests didn’t just disappear, not without a reason, so there hadn’t been any doubt when Merrick was suddenly replaced. No one had said it, but they didn’t have to. And her boys, thank God—at least he’d done nothing to them.

Three Lost Cantos From Dante's Inferno

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We came to the furthest reach of hell- A place that email users know well. The woman or man whose unmitigated gall Causes him or her to hit "Reply all".

I'll take anyone

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Plus women can be really sexy when their horny and plump with baby envy. If I could make a hard-on I’d like to be around for that.

Myra's Accident

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We’ve both been broken, we’ve both been defeated and jaded and we’ve both cried uncontrollably, but we’ve always managed to get back on our feet.

Warning: Mud Makes Me Horny

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One day I was sucking down the HG French Vanilla, and the next day my body plugged itself into some universal energy grid. Like some unseen force had snuck into my body and somehow a biological experiment had gone terribly wrong. The unintended result was

Doctor Eyepatch

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That contraption he’d invited her to pedal, somebody oughta market one of those. The closer you got the harder it got, and her feet kept slipping off the pedals. It was maddening.

Booming

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"I want more grandchildren to spoil," the woman said. Will took a swig of beer at such moments. Maxine only answered with “someday” and looked over toward her husband. She knew it was his fault, didn’t really know why, but blamed him anyway.

Women Making Love to Monsters

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I started dating the Minotaur because of Colleen; at the time she was going with a friend of his. The whole thing was a surprise to me because I'd never been attracted to Greek men. This is how it happened. Colleen's new guy, Ian, was known by many…

Ordinary People

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While I didn’t like to see Courtney swat smokes out of his mouth and admonish him, saying “Cigarettes. Bad. Fire. Bad,” her home was such a beautiful place, with its real wood and two TV and all...

New World

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The flash of love was real, the life within her was real, and the main thing now was to climb.

Kiss & make up

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“You wanna fight.” And I say yes. And he says – “First, we gotta make out.”

Four More Haikus

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Death is like a warmcup of hot cocoa, steamingup into nothing. The sun rise will bringprison bars of light through thebedroom blinds again. Sorry about thefirst three hours of your deathI thought you were drunk. Across the park thestrange dog looks…

Puppet X, 8

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After too much I had forgotten how to fly. There was a small owl with me on the old dirt road by the wind. It was a very dark gray, like an ash. Its beak moved, it opened and shut, opened and closed, but I had also forgotten the language

Raisins

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Sylvia used his computer to write two-page stories about women who killed themselves with blue pills because the shirts came back from the laundry unpressed and their husbands stayed out late with secretaries. Every story ended with the image it began.

Myra's Lighthouse

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I’ve been mentally cataloging all the various ways Myra has fucked me up. I know this is a dangerous game, strapped to our seats inches apart and hurling down the road at 70 mph, but I can’t help fiddling with the fuse.

Love Story, a Sequel

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He hid in parks and abandoned apartment houses until his wounds healed. He ate nuts, berries, and seeds. A shy, gentle soul, he watched children playing on the monkey bars, and thought of his lost youth.

traffic incident

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and i start screaming. i check the damage in my rearview mirror but there's nothing.

Cellphone Girl (Part I)

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The calls were going through her as if her whole head had become a wireless receiver. She absolutely did not understand how or why that was happening, but the physical evidence was impossible to ignore.

Lake Chelan

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Amish-like, between the sheets.

Pleasure Your Woman the Papal Appliance Way

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It shows how ignorant your typical writer for a men's magazine read primarily by teenage boys can be. You must treat every woman as if she is a customer at a major appliance store.

Arcana Magi - c.21: The World Stage

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The old mage said nothing. She did not even return the complement. All she had was disgust in her eyes as she looked at the grown men and women. To her they had no hearts.

Incidentally

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It started (or maybe ended) with the boot flying off the balcony and bouncing in the dead grass in front of our building.

Your Horoscope

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Sagittarius (Nov.22 – Dec. 21) Listen to the voices inside your head. They speak to you for a reason. Now is not the time for debate.

Puppet X, 2

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It's important to sound human, I know To get fragile near your mother I myself get glimpses now and then

The Creative Use of Meal Time

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We’re more into the punishment that works its way in through the skin and coats the heart anonymously.

Spring Ice

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...I stared at my good dog with the same entreaty I saw in her eyes. Save us. Please.

Birth and Death of a Concrete Icon

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Homer relaxes in his tan, faded recliner, remote in hand, and watches death unfold on his television.

Quixote Bronson, Savior of Neglected Suburban Housewives

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Saturday night in the suburbs west of Boston. As Pancho Sanza and I drift wearily from one upscale restaurant to another, we see an endless parade of husbands whose indifference to their wives borders on cruelty.

Forbidden Music

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There are songs I know to not listen to when I am alone.