Most read stories

Guidance Counselors Fight Boring Image by Ghost-Riding Their Whips

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“I was talking to kid who hadn’t applied to college, and I asked him why,” Branson says. “He rolled his eyes and said ‘Why go to college if I’m gonna end up a tool like you?’"

The Men's Chair In the Women's Shoe Department

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We were going shopping, and they put me in the women’s shoe department at Macy’s so I would really have something to write about, and maybe you can imagine what happened. Well, this one woman sits down right in the chair next to me, which I thought a

The Birth of Intuition

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My wife’s got dangerously good Peripheral vision She can see things so far to the side That I’m almost certain she can see things behind her And I’m sure she can see things that happened yesterday But the thing that scares me the most She

Ballad of Vengeance and Violence

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Two weeks later, on his way to a neighbor boy's house, Tim sees Tony on his way to the nearby convenience store.

My Dark Horse Run for Anti-Pope

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We flipped through the pages, filled with drawings Bates had done of himself in full papal regalia; mitre, crozier, the works. Beneath them he’d practiced signing autographs as “Pope Bates I.”

Yuppies Fight Callous Image With "Tap Your Laptop" Day

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"When I knocked my laptop over,” he says, "four years worth of muffin crumbs shook loose on my desk. It got me thinking about those less fortunate than me.”

Now Go Find Your Water

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http://fictionique.com/?p=15392

Inspector of the Dawn

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It is a strange world, dawn. You may find yourself alone with your God, the old, and the young. Very likely a bird. An old one out hobbling past on a cane, a small dog trotting from bush to bush, sniffing a pile of leaves, jumping back, st

The Boy Who Tamed Wild Things

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The boy had a gift, we understood; he could speak the language of the animals, and so soon there was a skunk that he would walk on a leash.

At Waffle House

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Staring at my $10 All Star Breakfast with extra bacon

Sense and Sensibility Too

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http://fictionique.com/?p=15975

Staying in the Car after Arriving Home

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i sat in the car for a while / even after i arrived at the house / facing the garden with my headlights on / casting on it a dreary sort of fantasy

Science Fiction

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This is the story of the metastasis of the national security state.

Blessed

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The first thing Noah did, more or less, was plant a vineyard.

The Undercover Kingdom

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If you had on pajamas with pockets you could sneak a handful of animal crackers upstairs, but first you had to get them out of the kitchen.

Battle of the Bulging British Bridesmaids

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A survey by “You & Your Wedding” magazine has determined that one in five British brides now requires her bridesmaids to sign contracts regulating their behavior and appearance.

Upfaked Out of My Love Shoes

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A dirty-blonde woman in a little black dress, her face a picture of chagrin/ Was similarly looking around as if lost, other’s heads ending at her chin.

A headline for Amy Hempel

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I shall go with german rules of capitalization in titles today.

70,000 BC: What I Want

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I don't ask for much. No, don't grunt at me, it's true. Give me a smooth boulder and a stone I can hold in my hand for grinding, maybe a sharp bit of flint for scraping. A new stick I can dig with, my old one's really worn. Shrgk's mate just got her a new stick and he even…

Instructions For My Murder

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In the putrid remains / of these faithless days / and the void into which / I carry it...

All of a Sudden

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Look at this contradictory neon night.

Saturday, 1AM

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Tonight, as I ate stale fries in the car, / after getting back home, / my seatbelt still around me, / struggling to keep me in place,

poetry seductress

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And then there was this girl from Boston, named Pat, who was a little on the hefty side and wouldn’t get off me. And I was skinny then too. She wanted sex so much and so often that the whole time I visited her apartment in Cambridge, after I graduated f

untitled

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fallen leaves, broken limbs fron wounded trees

Short Lobsters

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"They measured the lobsters and they were short. But like I said, not by much. If they had any sense they’d leave the poor guy alone and go after the big fish.”

ARE YOU: An ode to overthinking brought on by having too much time to think. To be recited in your best Julie Andrews voice.

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Are you interesting?Are you clever?Are you, maybe often, sometimes never?Are you shining? Pining?Are you glowing?Are you worth knowing?Are you a life without zest?Are you mainlining strife …

Why I Got an Unregistered Gun

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No matter how tough we make our gun laws, it’s the other goober states that let a dramatist with a lengthy record of prior absurdist plays buy an unregistered weapon at a gun show.

Rumination

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I am cultivating a willingness to devour anything. I will eat a chemistry lab. I will eat a perturbation if I can figure out how to cook a perturbation.

Strayhorn's "Chelsea Bridge" (Webster/Mulligan)

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The chorus is a melancholy enlightenment; this is all I have, he thinks, the only transcendence I’ll get out of this day. I should seize it while I can.

Crossed

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Their raging energy felt like a unified force that could catapult itself in any direction at a second’s notice, like a heat-seeking missile targeting the next warm body.