What Do You Do For Men

We were in the car and I just learned to drive and we were in the freeway running at a hundred miles per hour, and after a while we found ourselves in the center lane behind a slow-moving truck filled with small pumpkins, and he said something about his girlfriend and about how she's getting annoying and I said, “You'd be surprised at the things I did to get a boy's attention,” and he said: “Well with that face you'd need to do a lot of things to get a boy's attention,” and I said: “Well, I'm a veteran now, you know. Plenty of experience. I do it well,” and he said: “Well how crazy, really?” and I said: “Almost joined a civil war, went to foreign universities, applied non-existent skills, wasted so much, so much money, allow myself to become a fool,” and he said: “Almost joined a civil war?” and I said: “You don't want to know.” 

He looked between his legs and then looked at me then looked between his legs and said, “Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm a boy. Are you just doing this because you want to put my cock in your mouth?” and I said, “Hey, hey. I like you. You're my friend. But you shouldn't assume things like that. For starters you're shaped like a fucking potato. Are you aware of this? I don't like potatoes. I don't like the way they look. Unless they're fried I don't like the way they taste,” and he said: “I'm suspicious,” and I said: “Well pull down your pants show me your cock and wave it near my face and I'll show you I can resist, then,” and he said: “I think I'm aware why you failed all those times,” and I said: “Well, you don't know how it feels because girls always chase after you,” and he said: “I know. I'm really getting a clue here,” and I said: “Seriously, stop,” and we changed lanes and sped along like usual.