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Gaze


by XXXX


to think of him looking at me
for he to be I and I to be he
it is almost unbearable
to occupy two bodies at once—
does he think of what it is like
to look at him? 

if he only does once in a while
then he will know what it means
to be filled
with petals of chamomile
and orchids until 
the seams of your skin
threaten to burst open

and if I imagine his gaze
looking at me as I cross my legs
and drink coffee with a 
pretentious pinky in the air
my mouth only fills slowly
with vomit and bile. 

It is sweet suffering,
blessed sacrifice. 
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