Most read stories

Pageant Night

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All the baby monsters are being born on stage.

Prison

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I am trapped.

Starlight Standup

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They wink at me as if to share/ a cosmic joke whose punch line’s still/ a couple dozen light years out

Haiku, Sort Of

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“You look so … distinguished. My!” she said.

Three Short Slips About Plants

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That twig looks pretty dead to me, He will never ever be a man.

Pretend Friend

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no rule says an imaginary friend has to be a good one

Sometimes You Wait.

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Sometimes you wait by the mailbox and he doesn't come. It doesn't come, the letter, the talisman from another world you've been waiting for, and you give up. You finally open…

Minnie Mouse Meets Mickey at a Convention of Phrenologists

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A parody of John Ashbery I have been preconditioned likewise by the ligatures of the roof. It has bypassed even the lightning. When I started this essay I (poetics equalling dissemination, like a toilet plug) admired, and I in the book produced…

First Streetlight

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What I'm going to do is grab this eight-year-old fellow down the block, and declare him a candidate for this Presidential campaign. I'll be his campaign manager, and our whole message will be based on the First Streetlight platform. It's old school but very…

Equality

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J., W., and W.’s girlfriend were exploring the nature and mores of homosexual conduct by discussing whether W. would be willing to suck J.’s cock.

Check

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My toes curled together under the pathetic rag of a bedsheet, the frost creeping in through the two-inch deformity of the window on the left wall. I was tempted to sneak a glance at them to insure that they weren't black, but then decided that I'd…

Automaton

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I must say your script is rather impressive. “You will mesmerize a girl in velvet stained garment…” “The channels of cologne fade from a body, eventually.” The girl carousels home with a raspier…

Salon du Monde

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I sit there reading a magazine while the woman clips my claws. From time to time I watch Kim’s face.

Last Cricket

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The weather, mid-sixties now, will take its toll on this singular voice.

Assiduity Twenty Six

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Uzma and Luv are . . .

Five Million Yen: Chapter 17

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-Someone could have boosted this easy as pie, Ben said to himself.

Downloaded Cheats

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You are my intergalactic princess / The most beautiful in twelve systems

Post

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Beyond the parrots and the palms, she can see an airplane resting in the canyon below, belly up, wings like outstretched arms, the occupants inside presumably rotting in their seats.

A Night in the Trailer of the Headlining Band

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Hello? It’s Me!

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But I surely did recognize Rayburn Moon; Rayburn and I dated for about five minutes back then

Slightly Damp Clothes In the Morning

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It begins with his positioning.

carbon dating

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I became infamous, in certain circles, for what I achieved, maybe more so for what I did not. I invented a dating service for seniors called “Carbon Dating.” I wrote a book called “What Real Estate Did for Me,” which was very brief and to the point. It

Attraction and the Forge of God

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Being burned with a branding iron really hurts. Everyone must have voted for the Forge because next thing I knew there was only God on TV

Irrational Obligations

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Irrational Obligations In honor of National Pi Day Any excuse for a circle, a way to pinch the day. They are calling it something like a celebration only with bigger words and too many numbers to count. We'll have to approximate the amount of joy …

van Gogh's chair. van Gogh

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Finally he painted his own chair, maybe because no one would sit for him anymore (after he cut off a piece of his own ear.) The chair centered and framed so that one leg of it reached down to the bottom of the painting, seeming to be skewed a little, ou

This Bud’s For You

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I suspect I’ll make the right decision.

Shedding the Skin of Past Lives

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I bow my head and shed the antlers of past lives I no longer butt heads with the universe but I miss my curse and can’t do worse I throw myself in reverse and rehearse the early scenes of science and my full meat diet that sent

Not Death but Decrepitude

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A bedridden ward of the state,/ warehoused in a nursing home,/ unable to drive to the liquor store/ for whiskey and cigarettes,

Celebrity Sighting

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No, that can't be him, Joe thought. The guy was messing around the displays in back. He had walked in three or four minutes ago, by now, and he certainly looked the part — or at least Joe thought…

Fixing the RED Wagon

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I had put the child's wagon, which had been red once, back together again. “Honey”, I said, “I found out the garbagemen will pick up concrete this month.” So, I put…