Most read stories

Ah, You’re Funny. Good Thing

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I was talking to this famous female artist at the reception, (as if I knew anything,) “If you want to be taken as a serious artist now, you have to have one long serious eyebrow.” There was no reaction. So, I said: “Also, you should kn

Prospectus

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The question isn't whether we will survive-/ like rats, we are supremely adaptive-// but whether we should survive.

~American Woman~

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…like candy and puke on your tongue, the fakest broad ever, cruising like a busted prow, busted wheel, mast and stem, these stately wrecks and rotten flowers of perfume and the deadly bitchiness of the modern woman’s expectations.

DNA

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my family's Scottish heritage

During the Interim

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Nothing changes; the moon arcs its mindful lemon eye. . .

Abra Cadaver

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The body is an endless safari filled with rhino sightings and encounters with antelope.

The Queen of the Underground

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Study decay, says the Queen of the Underground.

Malaise

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Endurance wears the soul thin.// The hour to succumb ticks ever closer.

When the buck stops (3-Minute Fiction entry)

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This was looking down from what we know as The Grassy Knoll.

Roadside Assistance

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When it starts looking bad enough, I bundle up and head out the door.

Hungry

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Why do people kill themselves with food? It’s obvious, I suppose. They’re hungry.

Lovebugs

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Black bugs are falling, fluttering down like big, black snow flakes. Two bugs, almost always, sometimes only one.

All Fall Down

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He just up and dropped dead one day, Charles said. Pretty tough on Karen, I opined. Charles looked the other way.

The Fourth Prague Defenestration: 11

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Many weddings took place at the foot of the Astronomical Clock Tower. One every hour, on the hour. It turned out these were set-up photo shoots for things like men’s cologne, brocade bridal gowns, and smoked carp. At night we wandered around the many

Nope - song

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The tax man he is coming But I got me no dough Been looking for some new job That’s going really slow I bought a lottery ticket But dropped it down the well I went to see the psychic She said I’d go to hell Can’t cope, I just can’t cope

Whoami

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A woman with fallen breasts is attempting to hang her laundry on a string. Two tall men mount horses and ride them into the meadow. A squad of children wrap themselves around a playground.

Saga For The Eyes

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Stars fat as the stars that Van Gogh painted on his easel in Arles, a ring of candles burning on the brim of his hat. Stars that fill the night with delirium.

Osama, Osama--He's After Your Mama!

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Captain Zeep came to Earth at last century's end to help pave the way for a Zorkian takeover by 2012 at the latest. Key to the game plan: Earthlings had to get dumber than eggplants. When George Bush stole the White House, Zeep figured, Bingo, dumb…

How Sturdy Is Your Sick Bag?

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A wave lifted me from my seat, scattering more drops of vomit around, and I thought nastily about bringing the motion sickness bracelets back inside, dripping bags in tow, to ask for a refund.

Arcana Magi Zero Arc 2 - c.2

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Alysia and Megumi made their magic circles, but they stopped short when they saw a young man at the end of the street. Their eyes trembled and their feet moved them back without thought.

just not working

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some days you wake up/ to feel horror/ wrapped beneath your blanket./

The Vermeer of Shoes

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My flash kept going off. The museum officials are strict about such matters. Sans flash! Sans flash, Monsieur!

The Pigeon Savior

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The window washer started saving pigeons whose feet were wrapped in fine black thread, the result, he informed me, of picking through trash bins. They are very intelligent, he went on to explain. (Right, trash bins, I thought to myself.) People tend to av

Unknown Brothers

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His name is Rick Reynolds. His name is Steve Redford.

Bandit

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I didn’t see the little boy run up to Bandit until it was too late. The kid was about four and was excited to see such a big dog. He reached out his hand to pat Bandit’s head and Bandit lunged at him. The leash was wrenched from my hand, leaving a bloody

Quintet in a Minor Key Near the End of Time

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The one thing I believe in is collapse./ Abandoned buildings collapse. Civilizations// collapse. Financial bubbles collapse./ Stars and galaxies collapse. Falling// is something that comes quite naturally/ to puffed up things.

A Few Good Band Names

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Auto and the Grease-Pits Sugar Cube Full Frontal The Holy Grill Crazy Al and the Squirrels Talk Is Cheap Grilled Cheese Sandwich Cold Zippers Destiny Howl Epiphany Critter Cold Kneecaps Crepes Pulled Pork Baby Seals and the Club

take off your shoes

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feet soft as eyelids on the tarmac

Privileged

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I could hide away in this tower But I am Rapunzel And I will let down my hair

Anthropometamorphism

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I have known a head become / a callus, matriculate, stop / shaving, move to Vegas