1888 21 12
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It is a well-known fact that my wife sleeps around. There. I said it and now everyone knows that I too know about my wife. Let me just tell you this one thing; she has her reasons. You ask me how I know that she has her reasons, but who would know better than…
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1888109
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"Lately I've been thinking a baby's the only way I might be able to hang on to you."
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18881813
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My uncle looks into the bleached eye of his cat and asks
"What happened to my ear?"
The meerkat’s eye replies:
"You had cancer. Remember?
They had to cut off your ear to save you."
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188742
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The little Hannibal Lectors had run like bandits away from the flames and had latched on to their equipment and gear. They screamed as the bugs crawled all over them. When they got back to the station they had to quarantine all their stuff so the bugs w
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1887105
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It’s a song you knew once, begin to remember now: You’ve had this dream before.
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188796
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The thunder rolled like an old Bob Dylan tour...
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188799
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“Have you ever thought what stars are made of?”
“No,” he said.
The man nodded seriously. “I hadn’t either. Not until I met the Star Catcher. He told me all the stars in the universe are actually coins. Coins! Big coins. Small coins. Different colors
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1887115
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A compliment is candy to the heartbroken, oxygen to a suffocating flame. The best hunter picks his prey carefully, selecting his line like an archer pulling an arrow from a quiver, quickly and efficiently, then flick! the line cuts through the air and…
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18871713
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and the mass exceeds the buoyancy/
and gravity pulls you back,
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188774
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The investigator starts by accumulating facts, as many facts as he can. He sifts through them with meticulous precision, leaving no leaf unturned, no page unread.
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188741
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1887103
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A crash, a loud tear screams through the house. A coffee table continues its dutiful life as a bitch.
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188744
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She lets go and it slides back too slowly.
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18871110
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i never much liked Elvis
never did then never do now
he was no Kris Kristofferson
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188600
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Some say the simurgh is an enormous bird with four wings, teeth, and a human face, able to carry off an elephant in her talons.
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188611
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A famous author and an inspired writer meet at a coffee shop, both looking for inspiration. The patrons there don’t know if this meeting is by accident or design, but they are in awe of Fame.
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188666
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But the best thing about Rebekah
was the way she floated always
beneath the scent of woodburn
and dusty Middle America,
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1886173
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My swinging purse sent saucers tinkling to the tile and the copper-headed waitress flew over, swooping on the shatter, clutching clean forks like a handful of flowers.
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1886101
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I told you that I have homicidal urges that alternate with ones of the suicidal kind. You flicked an imaginary speck of dust from your fat, fleshy forefinger with your ultra-flexible, wimpy thumb.
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188664
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"When we say something is good, beautiful, pious, or brave, what idea or image do we hold in our mind?"
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188682
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the dogneck gave no support
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188633
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And him, now there’s a him. I’d like if he were perfect, but perfect things never are. My daughter says it best, when she contrasts the two of you, “Daddy worked to forget about his problems. When he works, it makes him feel like there is a problem.”
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1886148
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You always complained that Christmas/
ruined your birthday/
sister.
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1886117
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My wife and I are cat people. Indeed, that's how we met. We met at a wake.
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188621
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The Marigold gloves are yellow (figures!) and medium, the apron ironed with a touch of starch added...
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188500
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He was jolted awake from his light slumber by his pod crash landing. Landing? That means he found a planet. He opened the pod and got out to stretch his legs. He looked around. "Wow, and I thought Aleria was advanced. This is amazing."
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18851710
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Ancestry.com The Liverpool census in 1851 lists him:Thirteen years old, Irish. Occupation: beggar. Only that. I will do more for him.I will see him in torn jacket and too-short pants singing all day of the fields, the cliffs,…
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188574
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188583
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I walked on hot coals. She got ahead of me. (228 words)
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188532
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Teaching never occurred to me in college. I took workshops and wrote often. Friends and classmates, meanwhile, switched from studio majors to Art Education, or from English to Certification. Not me. Teaching high-schoolers would be all wrong. Briefly, I…
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