Liz@Phil

These two lines are as strong as can be written - or at least that's how they knock me in the head:

"love was an acid that etched
their hope into a metal present"

Especially like the possibilities in the juxtaposed images near the end of the piece. Good writing, Bill.

This is a good 'un. *

That's life. *

Great build up all along this poem Bill! Loved it!

"Liz didn't steal his heart
she embezzled it". Ditto to wat Jake said. That's life for sure. *

"time felt like a kitten/
wrapped in a rattlesnake"

This and much more.

"time felt like a kitten
wrapped in a rattlesnake." I know these two.*

Sam, Chris, Jake, Roberto, Javed, Gary and Gary--gracias, amigos!

I liked the way this travelled the ground--immense, unconnectable- between hard-edged reality and the infeffable with the ease of a walk in the park.

What an ending!

So much said in so few words. I absolutely love the compactness of this poem and how much you made every single word count.

The title, however, is problematic for me; this is such a well-crafted, piercing poem and the "@" feels gimmicky to me--like a throwback from the "You've Got Mail" era of the 'net.

Thanks, David, and J. A. , and Amanda, for commenting.

Amanda: thanks for the comment about the title. Very helpful. Let me think on it for a bit.

Interesting and only slightly relevant fact re the "she embezzled it" line: The majority of embezzlers--by a wide margin--are women. Stealthy hearts!

Great poem. Can't beat "time felt like a kitten / wrapped in a rattlesnake." *

aww those last two stanzas are heart-wrenching in the best possible way. couldn't put this down, like a good novel.

Thanks, Con, Christian, and Marcus. Great hearing from all of you.

Wonderful story, and the crafting of it is exquisite. Every line break a turn of the kaleidoscope. *

Thanks, Beate! Love that kaleidoscope idea.

Nice*

Thank you, Brenda!