1752 9 1
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I've come to the Playboy Mansion on a mission of mercy. Hugh Hefner, my good buddy, has just lost two girlfriends in a single day!
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1752277
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It's a business, after all, all are quick to remind us. True dat, and the sun always rises in the east and sets in the west, and death and taxes...yup yup, we know. We get it.
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175244
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A man on the sidewalk dressed as a hot dog hits a triangle dinner bell with a clang and yells for everyone to come and eat at Hot Dog Hot Dog. We were feeling more like fish and chips or spicy pulled pork, but there's something about how…
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175231
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Over fifty plastic flamingos stood silently at attention... as if eating sea urchins out of our lawn.
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17521916
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My wife thinks I should be committed.
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17521412
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A sweet fog rises to the rafters. Inhale.
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175264
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Belief is a hammer, like saying the mind is a piece of iron.
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175132
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“Why is it that you give a woman a bit of power and she turns into a man” said a new intern from the copying room “You can hear her balls rubbing on the carpet as she walks”
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175122
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Her face had that strange preserved quality Maybelle saw in many aging Boomer women — like an old toy never removed from its packaging.
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175100
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His mouth smiled but his icy eyes did not. "You like it?," he asked with a thin deflated voice. "Old family recipe. Enjoy."
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1751128
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No fuckin' way, Maude. Excuse me, but you know I can't stand that bag of wind. No way.
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175166
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The book mind, just like its namesake the book, is capable of movement only after its assembly: otherwise, it boasts no moving parts.
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175199
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They sat before the fire and played cribbage. He was a good player, but not as good as she was.
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175066
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When she finally arrived it was like a cello playing inside me
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175021
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She persisted. “How long have we been here?”
A note of anger crept into his voice. “How long? How long? Why …, why ….” He swallowed hard, realized he had forgotten.
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1750124
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Stories Around People An Event Facebook lived in midtown, for there the people and windows shone like water. Though it would board the bus—1 day—and ride to the sea, where people said words like sea and where the city shone in the waves…
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175095
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Then I would say to my new friends, “My God, look at all the weight you’ve lost.” Even when they hadn’t lost any. Even when they were fatter than before.
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175033
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Don't feed it to the dog, it has bones, it is a whole goddamn chicken in a can, and I can't stress that enough. Besides one year you gave me a toilet seat for Christmas. I couldn't even eat that Ky
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175022
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This is a wife pregnant with spiders
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17492117
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After breakfast, he dresses and heads / for the blackjack tables.
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17492315
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This is the story of the man whose wife lived in his neck. Every morning, he would turn to her and say, "Hello, Sweetheart. How was your night?" and she would answer, Brilliant! What else?
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1749106
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I see young girls in their white summer dresses and remember how I was like that, light youth that barely touched the ground. Screwing and unscrewing the lid of a salt shaker (sitting at a table.) Swinging a shoe off the tip of my toes. Rubbing a foot u
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174941
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At that time I was meeting Jacob at 3:30 each afternoon in Joan of Arc Park so we could walk dogs together. This was our job.
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174900
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Oh, and take off all your jewelry unless you want your relatives sifting you through a window screen looking for your diamond.
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174964
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"Fax the Beaver" was its last, secret title. The beaver is a dirty trick, and it belongs on the index card.
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17481710
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Some idiot was gonna let a snake eat him. I know, but I saw it on the internets. That's some dumb-assed stuff right there. Everyone knows about snakes. The Jesus book tells us all about them, inside us, slithering through ruby-red and eating our guilt from inside out.…
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17481311
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**I think Bridgestone Tire borrowed this story for a commercial. Maybe not, see video and decide.**
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1748149
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She feels the music deep in her belly,her hips swaying, she looks out through lids no longer guardedand sees you, Her knees bend, her eyes close, She is moving back and forth,a pulse in time,Her arms snake around her head,She does not ask,may I enjoy myself?…
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174876
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in her silk sleeves is silence sheathed.
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1748105
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Truth came out of it, a little bug that hovered there...
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