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Osama Retires

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Osama couldn’t see any reason he shouldn’t retire. No way he could top BP Oil in the Gulf or Pacific Gas & Electric in San Bruno.

The Man Who Memorized Kubla Khan

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Weave a circle round him thrice And with bemusement shake your head, For he on cod and beans hath fed And drunk the beer of Paradise.

Sex Change Operation

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Her condition was giving her the blues ‘Cause her gender, was slightly confused.

A Matter Of Convenience

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Every retailer within my five mile containment zone is consumed with my convenience. It is incredibly comforting, this suburban fixation with access, proximity, speed, and ubiquity. If Marx were hanging out in American subdivisions today, he would likely


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A woman confronts her suspicions about her husband's fidelity.

Fighting Global Warming, the Ted Turner Way

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The chairman ushers Ted Turner into the dining room on the pretext that a prime cut of a young left-handed pitcher who lost his fastball is about to be carved at a buffet.

Paradise Within

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On the back porch of the world, the sun kisses my laughter, Giving me the silent strength to separate before from the after. Misunderstood soil shyly strikes up a conversation. And I engage my soul, lost in aimless contemplation. …


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Frowning, loosening a purple tie, Tony pushed through the golden revolving doors of a skyscraper. He drifted into the crowded midtown street as if in a daze. He was roused to his senses as his cell phone sent out the melody of his wedding song.

The Sky-What Limit?

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Lighter-than-air flight was back. The skies of the coast were alight with colorful balloons, dirigibles, and zeppelins tethered to their docking towers along the beach, the huge aircraft bobbing in the breeze up and down the coast for miles,…


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What can I say about the Internet It's one of the best inventions since the TV set It's a place you can do research and shop A place where you can sell everything from shoes to stock You can go to rooms and chat And meet some nice people or some that seem…

Instant Messaging My Friend About Our Plans to Commit Suicide on Saturday on the Grass at His Garden While Wearing a Suit

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sometimes when i tell myself i want to die i’m like ok dude whatever join the club just the other day someone online asked me whether i knew where he could get a copy of that japanese book about how to kill yourself

Bones of the Amazon, Part I of a Novella

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Lulu Petite was sitting in a lounge chair by the side of the pool when she heard the man splash into the water, almost unnoticed by the guests milling around the backyard of the palatial estate. Everybody, seemingly, was involved in a balancing act of one

Key West with Poo and Company

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Excerpt from Flamingo …

Understand, Rubberband?

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After we moved uptown we lived close enough to the park that we could go there on our own (with permission) on weekends and during school breaks to visit the zoo or the pond where people floated their mechanical boats....

Shouting the Muse Down

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In the tumbled-down now there's too much material, culled from pretty boys that don't notice me and tattooed ones that do, and I'm certain there's at least one dreamer soaking eyes into me who knows all the twisted lyrics invoking pretty little horses.

for the queen of lapis lazuli

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you kissed me, once,/ kindergarten, recall--/ behind my ear./ called/ 'bee sting'

Arcana Magi Zero + Pure - c.11

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Ayane took another look of the area and it was large warehouse. A loud thud vibrated outside.

Carlos The Impossible (Part 2)

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La revancha! The rematch between the great matador and the impossible bull was set for La Fiesta de la Objeto Inamovible. Red-lettered posters announced the event on shuttered tiendas and busy bus stops and papered-over graffiti on the city’s walls for al


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As I fed Puff, I thought about the nightmare Lily shared with me that morning. She dreamed Puff had a hole in his throat and all his blood squirted out until he got as small and skinny as a deflated baloon.

Is This What You Do When You Think of Me?

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"Umm... T-shirt, sweats. You know, typical sleepwear for me. I had been in these jeans for the video shoot, but they had to go." "J-jeans, huh?" Lucas started to falter.

the trenchant lad & the mechanical men

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A man walks on the moon my mother knew at Purdue.

77 Words About Nothing (Tangled)

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You carved my initials into your inner thigh with a jagged stem -


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Walking alone, underneath thin, moonlit clouds, the world began to unfold and shows it guts. Deep within the Colorado mountains, miles from the nearest convenience store or free wi-fi connection, I started to merge into the implicate.

Five Million Yen: Chapter 36

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Ben panicked momentarily. Which passport?

The Court of the Vassal

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“I believe this is a case that is very much worth our time. Its probably the most important case thus far in your reign,” Henry said, “my lord.”

As a Film Cassette Enters a Camera

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"...only images I can know,"

I Knew Her Before She Was Kissy from Cadallaca, Even

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["Creed vs. discern" ... or ... "discern vs. creed"?]

picture (im)perfect

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The damaged lining of this awkward appellation is just bewitching, begging of the light test prod — OW! and then stern mastery: Introducing the cruelly hooked thumb with ragged nail, plunging up, ripping into and down…


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The tiger-eye beads around her neck would wink at me like a nervous uncle sharing a secret with a child. They roll on her sternum like marbles. At night, on her nightstand, they whisper my secret to the patchouli-scented room. How long have they known?