Instant Messaging My Friend About Our Plans to Commit Suicide on Saturday on the Grass at His Garden While Wearing a Suit


sometimes when i tell myself i want to die i'm like ok dude whatever join the club just the other day someone online asked me whether i knew where he could get a copy of that japanese book about how to kill yourself and i was like well you know if you want to die you can do it yourself pretty easily like everyone has built entire civilizations of concrete and stone and glass based around the idea babylon tenochtitlan rome athens ur carthage constantinople it is too easy to off yourself i mean there are a lot of tv ads now about how hard it is to kill yourself in a car like the car will stop by itself while you're about to crash into a wall and in the end you'll just block traffic and cry with your windows down in your car because you're still freaking alive but like find a building go up a few floors and then jump off then open your arms as if you're going to embrace a found lost lover or you can set yourself on fire and run around in the rain and that will be a spectacular display because there's that song that goes it's better to go out in a blaze than fade away or something and you know what you're a very good friend of mine if you want i can set you on fire i can go to your place and i can douse you in gasoline while you close your eyes like i am baptizing you and dress you up and everything i mean killing yourself isn't too hard and it certainly doesn't make you special it doesn't mean you're made out of gold or that you've somehow swallowed emeralds there's no use really talking about it those who talk about it aren't sure but we're sure aren't we we're so sure we can dress fancy on saturday so when they find us we are neat and we can show that we wanted it i'm glad your mother planted carnations we can put them in our breast pockets and we can finally be ok finally ok because we did it we're off anyway i have to balance a few sheets and my break is over i'll see you on saturday gtg c u