Most recent stories

It's a Boy!

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Sex when you’re pregnant Is like sex when you aren’t Pregnant, but with extra people.

Halloween

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"For God's sake," my mother said. "There could be anthrax in the candy." My mother worried about me going out on Halloween.

the last thing

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salmon maple syrup horseradish smoke detector the list read, scrawled in purple marker on the refrigerator door.

Cow Juice

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Theresa stopped speaking to me because I ate cows. This made things simple. There was no conversation.

Moe Tucker

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I know I'm supposed to admire some girl drummer like Moe Tucker or Mrs. Karash, that would be more...

Little Meadow Simms

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"I looked at this skinny, little female child, Meadow Simms. It wasn't only that she was small. Meadow Simms didn't look like other children. Her parents were hippies."

Dizzy

24622462 views3131 comments2020 favs

It’s never good to get arrested on an empty stomach.

Gas Making You Sick?

24082408 views1919 comments1212 favs

It was a sore molar that was giving me trouble, on the bottom right. The dentist, about whose adulterous affairs everybody in the neighborhood knew and whispered about, ts-ts-ts'ed me and murmured "decay" before pulling out the drill.

Orchard

15351535 views2222 comments1414 favs

I used to score girls by taking them on a ride past Frauenstein, up on a hill where you could see the trees, the whole lot of them sparkling white and pink in the breeze.