2052 6 7
|
“Too perfect.” my therapist intervenes in assurance, “You did enough, really. More than anyone else would.” I know the subtext is that I possibly did more than I should. My appointment is coincidentally later that day, after his goodbye letter arrives in
|
20522116
|
Tell Bono I want my seventy bucks back.
|
205232
|
This is what my summer has come to: me, out of a job, aimlessly driving around the city looking for places to write, places to read, places to occupy my time.
|
20521211
|
The other day I’m in the backyard with one of my kids, doing what he’s calling a training exercise, which is basically the two of us with flashlights, shinning the beams over the grass and up into the night to see what we can see.
|
205153
|
Somehow I always had to sit behind him. I remember because he had a constellation of skin tags on his neck. I thought about drawing stars on him; I thought about creating a new galaxy I would rule. I should have been learning math instead. I still can’t
|
20511716
|
"Why so ornery?" she asked.
|
2051117
|
He was her summer fling, the first cock to crow when the sun rose over her tequila smile.
|
205010
|
For Hector it was animals. Rats, dogs, fish, and quite often horses – sometimes even lions. But for Achilles, it was always dead bodies.
|
205000
|
I'm in awe of her frankness, how she takes my breath away, how I wish to rush off with her to a splendid hideaway where only the two of us touch the grape-stained mountains and the cerulean sea, wild blades of grass quivering with the breeze. Sometimes th
|
205096
|
All of those lovelies, pitched on the ground, ignored and ready to rot.
|
205010
|
Azure became silent. She never thought of her death before, nor thought about actually fighting creatures and saving people’s lives.
|
205070
|
Who is the moron that invented the Snuggie?
|
20501716
|
Ed wants to watch the last half of the football game. His wife wants him to mow the lawn.
|
204954
|
Often we sit in silence and age. We are observers of dust, fashioning ourselves into antiques.
|
204997
|
500 miles
all the way from Omaha
nine hours
on the back of a flatbed truck
|
204984
|
It calmed the guilt in my heart while kids reveled, laughed, and "made time" with the neighborhood girls on that final night of freedom.
No one would talk to those girls again.
|
204952
|
Having a single blurb on your book cover is like having a single friend in grade school. So I lied.
|
204997
|
"... I knew Willie had gone— out the back door or out the side window. I knew he probably slipped over the fence behind my house into Lou C.’s backyard..."
|
204996
|
The phone owner pre-writes his or her dying words! The app stores them and releases them at the moment of his death!
|
204880
|
What can I say about my brother, Stroman. We are twins and we hate each other. He is an honest, brave man with scruples. He is full of bullshit. He thinks I am morally twisted. He probably has a point there, but I don’t see what that has got to do with
|
204800
|
Casting nets like Jesus to a metaphor sea
Admittedly as weak as me
But I need the hike,
Like we still like Ike
To tell us about the Military Industrial Complex
Though he never told us what came next
|
204833
|
Describe how like or unlike a vagina a peach pit is, using no anatomical words.
|
204852
|
Man, you never ceased to crack me up! If you thought you'd just been called a homo, you probably wouldn't want to try to disprove it by grabbing hold of a naked guy and wrestling him to the floor of a shower room.
|
204876
|
Butch the Labradoodle sets some necessary boundaries.
|
2048109
|
Sometimes, they beat their masters home...
|
204863
|
“Now God,” Mr. Smashface calls me out by name.
|
204840
|
Let whoever may read this know: I am an evil man, and I have done evil things.
|
20481411
|
She'd liked the name of the tanker. The Amoco Cadiz.
|
204811
|
WIFE (calling back from kitchen): "Dick Cheney's penis!"
|
204701
|
meanings figure into traffic streams reds fade, trickle down the long ‘V' another passing human ear; tall, tall buildings paper poised on horizon. situations gape in and out of seconds corners turn to disappearance, witness follows fingers…
|
