2051 21 16
|
Tell Bono I want my seventy bucks back.
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20511211
|
The other day I’m in the backyard with one of my kids, doing what he’s calling a training exercise, which is basically the two of us with flashlights, shinning the beams over the grass and up into the night to see what we can see.
|
20501716
|
"Why so ornery?" she asked.
|
205000
|
I'm in awe of her frankness, how she takes my breath away, how I wish to rush off with her to a splendid hideaway where only the two of us touch the grape-stained mountains and the cerulean sea, wild blades of grass quivering with the breeze. Sometimes th
|
204910
|
For Hector it was animals. Rats, dogs, fish, and quite often horses – sometimes even lions. But for Achilles, it was always dead bodies.
|
204953
|
A strange and unexpected shift has occurred.
|
2049117
|
He was her summer fling, the first cock to crow when the sun rose over her tequila smile.
|
204996
|
All of those lovelies, pitched on the ground, ignored and ready to rot.
|
204910
|
Azure became silent. She never thought of her death before, nor thought about actually fighting creatures and saving people’s lives.
|
204970
|
Who is the moron that invented the Snuggie?
|
204833
|
Describe how like or unlike a vagina a peach pit is, using no anatomical words.
|
204897
|
500 miles
all the way from Omaha
nine hours
on the back of a flatbed truck
|
204884
|
It calmed the guilt in my heart while kids reveled, laughed, and "made time" with the neighborhood girls on that final night of freedom.
No one would talk to those girls again.
|
204896
|
The phone owner pre-writes his or her dying words! The app stores them and releases them at the moment of his death!
|
204832
|
This is what my summer has come to: me, out of a job, aimlessly driving around the city looking for places to write, places to read, places to occupy my time.
|
204811
|
WIFE (calling back from kitchen): "Dick Cheney's penis!"
|
20481716
|
Ed wants to watch the last half of the football game. His wife wants him to mow the lawn.
|
204780
|
What can I say about my brother, Stroman. We are twins and we hate each other. He is an honest, brave man with scruples. He is full of bullshit. He thinks I am morally twisted. He probably has a point there, but I don’t see what that has got to do with
|
204754
|
Often we sit in silence and age. We are observers of dust, fashioning ourselves into antiques.
|
204701
|
meanings figure into traffic streams reds fade, trickle down the long ‘V' another passing human ear; tall, tall buildings paper poised on horizon. situations gape in and out of seconds corners turn to disappearance, witness follows fingers…
|
204752
|
Having a single blurb on your book cover is like having a single friend in grade school. So I lied.
|
2047109
|
Sometimes, they beat their masters home...
|
204763
|
“Now God,” Mr. Smashface calls me out by name.
|
204773
|
“There are no inhibitions in here,” the postman shouted, gesturing at the dance floor with his Marlboro Light, the glowing tip aimed at a woman in a taut skirt. Leaning far forward, her hands nearly touching the plywood floor, she planted her feet and beg
|
204654
|
The tall, standing woman with bright red lipstick, elegant at one time, you could tell, responding, “She has dementia,” pointing at her brain. “She was a Holocaust survivor.”
And the one they’re talking about turns as she’s pushing her wal
|
204697
|
"... I knew Willie had gone— out the back door or out the side window. I knew he probably slipped over the fence behind my house into Lou C.’s backyard..."
|
204500
|
Casting nets like Jesus to a metaphor sea
Admittedly as weak as me
But I need the hike,
Like we still like Ike
To tell us about the Military Industrial Complex
Though he never told us what came next
|
204563
|
Cap'n Pepper tries and tries but Old Salty is never happy.
|
204576
|
Butch the Labradoodle sets some necessary boundaries.
|
20451411
|
She'd liked the name of the tanker. The Amoco Cadiz.
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