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In the Sun

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The light was bright andthey sat on the railing of the long wooden bridge in the sun. She looked up at her father."Oh Daddy, where did you go?" she asked.He was young with black shinny hair blowing in the wind. "To Heaven, little girl,"She shook her head."What's…

The Men's Chair In the Women's Shoe Department

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We were going shopping, and they put me in the women’s shoe department at Macy’s so I would really have something to write about, and maybe you can imagine what happened. Well, this one woman sits down right in the chair next to me, which I thought a

The writer as pugilist - one more time

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I'm cool. You're not. Attitude is everything in life.

Blessed

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The first thing Noah did, more or less, was plant a vineyard.

Tried

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to rise and rise for you and rise some more and catch the next wave into the slickest part of the new found air of youthful intention. Hard ground seemed to like me a lot more for myselfthan those snobby clouds I was watching, and…

The Crazy Woman in the Bookstore

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“How do you know she’s crazy? Seems to me that’s a perfectly rational reaction,” she said without looking up at first, but then glancing at him with a sly smile.

All of a Sudden

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Look at this contradictory neon night.

wine, women, song

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Details may be missing from our lives, but you can fill them in any time you want. Fill up the cup again with me. Come in and be warm, anytime you want. Wine, women, song, whatever. I sat on the curb once, in Mexico, saying, “Give me your salads, your o

Going Right At Left

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Wishes are like beautiful fishing lines Pulled tightly around us. My lungs are Full of them I suppose, hopelessly caught On something rough and deep in all the darkened places. Your smile for Me was one of those, if you must know. This swung…

for god's sake, come in me already!

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There were others, too, during those years in the Sixties. I remember hooking up with that JAM girl one more time, when she was married and living in Urbana. They were going to swinger parties at the time, so she wanted to have sex with me once more for

The Undercover Kingdom

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If you had on pajamas with pockets you could sneak a handful of animal crackers upstairs, but first you had to get them out of the kitchen.

The Pitch

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This is what I am saying now.

The Boy Who Tamed Wild Things

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The boy had a gift, we understood; he could speak the language of the animals, and so soon there was a skunk that he would walk on a leash.

The Solace of Olives

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Alone in Eugene, / I sought out / the solace of olives

IRS Tries Eunuchs for Tough Tax Collection Cases

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“I’ve seized a family’s satellite dish, I’ve put a lien on a guy’s blue tick hound–everything,” Suggins says with a laugh.

The C.I.A. is trying to kill my GRANDMOTHER!!!

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Don't forget to fuck me. Blow me. Suck me. Don't forget to fuck me. [REPEAT 2X]

Wake

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At my daughter's wake Mr. Aleford, her teacher, poked out his pointy nose, sniffing my cologne. How could I be plastered with this, at a time like this? Well, dear Sir, Two reasons. One, to hide the booze. And two, because my wife and I had made feverish love that…

Strayhorn's "Chelsea Bridge" (Webster/Mulligan)

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The chorus is a melancholy enlightenment; this is all I have, he thinks, the only transcendence I’ll get out of this day. I should seize it while I can.

Still More Rock Groups I have Known

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More Rock Groups I Have Known and/or Been In

Guidance Counselors Fight Boring Image by Ghost-Riding Their Whips

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“I was talking to kid who hadn’t applied to college, and I asked him why,” Branson says. “He rolled his eyes and said ‘Why go to college if I’m gonna end up a tool like you?’"

Days of Future, Past

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Though bleached white as snow,/ Eric Cantor’s teeth broke/ much as any others would

My Dark Horse Run for Anti-Pope

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We flipped through the pages, filled with drawings Bates had done of himself in full papal regalia; mitre, crozier, the works. Beneath them he’d practiced signing autographs as “Pope Bates I.”

Peppercorns

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Fertile bodies eye/ the space you occupy,/ impatient for disappearance.

ARE YOU: An ode to overthinking brought on by having too much time to think. To be recited in your best Julie Andrews voice.

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Are you interesting?Are you clever?Are you, maybe often, sometimes never?Are you shining? Pining?Are you glowing?Are you worth knowing?Are you a life without zest?Are you mainlining strife …

Battle of the Bulging British Bridesmaids

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A survey by "You & Your Wedding" magazine has determined that one in five British brides now requires her bridesmaids to sign contracts regulating their behavior and appearance.

Scientists Find Sock Drawers in Disarray as New Year's Eve Nears

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Jeremy starts "dialing-for-dates" shortly after Thanksgiving to make sure he has someone to ring in the New Year with, but his scientific mind noticed a disturbing pattern after his initial round of phonecalls this fall.

The Red-Blooded Boys' Guide to Fashion Week

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When I was growing up–I know that begs the question–if I wasn’t gigging frogs or shooting marbles I used to wile away my idle hours by hanging out at my dad’s women’s clothing store.

Inspector of the Dawn

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It is a strange world, dawn. You may find yourself alone with your God, the old, and the young. Very likely a bird. An old one out hobbling past on a cane, a small dog trotting from bush to bush, sniffing a pile of leaves, jumping back, st

The Island

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There is an island behind the house in which I grew up. It is a network of bicycle paths and booby traps. The past is snared there.

A Message in Red-Brown Style

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The important thing is to repeat the keyword