Most read stories

After Holidays

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I am bound behind the bars of my own domesticity, / by this banana, and pea soup, and wilted cabbage

Experimental

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having the time of their lives,

Diary of a Bolshoi Potato Dancer

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Today is the audition for “The Bright Stream,” and I believe I am in tip-top shape to win the prize role–potato carrier! To train, I have been hauling rocks up the stairs to my apartment.

Still More Rock Groups I have Known

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More Rock Groups I Have Known and/or Been In

The Red-Blooded Boys' Guide to Fashion Week

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When I was growing up–I know that begs the question–if I wasn’t gigging frogs or shooting marbles I used to wile away my idle hours by hanging out at my dad’s women’s clothing store.

All of a Sudden

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Look at this contradictory neon night.

The Unfinished House

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The details left undone let you know that tradesmen, visitors and strangers were not welcome.

Fire Skates

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Fire skates ascended out of the Skyscraper State _________________.

Strayhorn's "Chelsea Bridge" (Webster/Mulligan)

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The chorus is a melancholy enlightenment; this is all I have, he thinks, the only transcendence I’ll get out of this day. I should seize it while I can.

IRS Tries Eunuchs for Tough Tax Collection Cases

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“I’ve seized a family’s satellite dish, I’ve put a lien on a guy’s blue tick hound–everything,” Suggins says with a laugh.

Transmigration

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Much reincarnation

for god's sake, come in me already!

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There were others, too, during those years in the Sixties. I remember hooking up with that JAM girl one more time, when she was married and living in Urbana. They were going to swinger parties at the time, so she wanted to have sex with me once more for

Two Hundred Fifty

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For every person who dies alone that way, another twenty try.

Tired After Looking for my Voice Recorder for an Hour

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I wrote a million lines of poetry last night. / Metaphor after metaphor of your beauty

Tried

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to rise and rise for you and rise some more and catch the next wave into the slickest part of the new found air of youthful intention. Hard ground seemed to like me a lot more for myselfthan those snobby clouds I was watching, and…

Swinging Bridge (version)

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I see my route home through memory and its cataracts.

ARE YOU: An ode to overthinking brought on by having too much time to think. To be recited in your best Julie Andrews voice.

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Are you interesting?Are you clever?Are you, maybe often, sometimes never?Are you shining? Pining?Are you glowing?Are you worth knowing?Are you a life without zest?Are you mainlining strife …

Immaculate

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I remember him saying something like: “Are you aware of how completely horrible you are as a human being?”

Short Lobsters

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"They measured the lobsters and they were short. But like I said, not by much. If they had any sense they’d leave the poor guy alone and go after the big fish.”

Science Fiction

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This is the story of the metastasis of the national security state.

Going Right At Left

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Wishes are like beautiful fishing lines Pulled tightly around us. My lungs are Full of them I suppose, hopelessly caught On something rough and deep in all the darkened places. Your smile for Me was one of those, if you must know. This swung…

Inspector of the Dawn

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It is a strange world, dawn. You may find yourself alone with your God, the old, and the young. Very likely a bird. An old one out hobbling past on a cane, a small dog trotting from bush to bush, sniffing a pile of leaves, jumping back, st

that part of life I forgot to live

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You won’t find me shopping at University Housecoats. There’s a vast gulf between being pretty, and pretty dangerous, I’ve learned. Oh yeah, and that part of life I forgot to live? I would live in the past too, if I thought I could re-achieve youth. At s

My Dark Horse Run for Anti-Pope

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We flipped through the pages, filled with drawings Bates had done of himself in full papal regalia; mitre, crozier, the works. Beneath them he’d practiced signing autographs as “Pope Bates I.”

George H.W. Bush

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George H.W. Bush took his cock out and began stroking it. “The Reverend Sun Myung-Moon, of course, is a good friend, and the Washington Times[1] is an independent source.” He…

Battle of the Bulging British Bridesmaids

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A survey by "You & Your Wedding" magazine has determined that one in five British brides now requires her bridesmaids to sign contracts regulating their behavior and appearance.

They Are Lying

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like the icecold yellow wolves they are when they say they believe in love. What they're really doing is trying to game the outcome in their hungry for your living blood(y) favors. This shouldn't really…

Speaking of Mexico

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Well, I can tell you this much. The balance of my illusions about the underlying nature of mankind grew into grave doubts the day my brother was shot dead by a revenge-seeking Lebanese investor during a business failure bankruptcy in Southern California

Guidance Counselors Fight Boring Image by Ghost-Riding Their Whips

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“I was talking to kid who hadn’t applied to college, and I asked him why,” Branson says. “He rolled his eyes and said ‘Why go to college if I’m gonna end up a tool like you?’"

The End of Civilization as We Know It

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The End of Civilization as We Know It Question is, how many carpets did you see flying in close formation? Question is, which hand would you use If you were asked to choke yourself for the sake of civilization? The real question is, if you could