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The Back Burner

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Below them, the clag shears open in irregular patches, the lights of Seattle resolving themselves through the thinning overcast then vanishing again by turns.

Killing Dennis Gauda II: Dennis Gauda Strikes Back

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“That's Governor Gauda to you, punk!” This is the line from my speech “Killing Dennis Gauda.” The speech lost the Tall Tales competition at the division level, but I was unfortunate to have a chance to do this speech for Dennis Gauda …

I and a Friend Eat Burritos

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My friend and I were talking while having burritos (some days, it is as if all we ever eat are burritos, existentially speaking) and I was looking at the way he inserted that shaft of meat in his mouth and thought him prodigious for his technique

LLC

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The formula is fucked.

The Despotic Elephant

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An elephant with fascist tendencies,And various exotic dependancies,Kept his eye on,That there King Lion,Frustrated by his monarchic propensities.He made plans to over-throw,Thinking the Lion's popularity low,But he was discovered,When his habits were uncovered,Which was…

Cider Spake, BÄÄ!

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no matter how many drunks I spoke to, no matter how many strangers I tried my new theories on, no matter how many of my, currently distant friends I out-witted and educated with my revelatory nuggets of wisdom, I still see no sign of impact on the evening

From T.S. Eliot's Copybook

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Thanks for the invitation, although you don't make the Undergraduate Verse Society Ice Cream Social and Poetry Slam sound very appealing.

Heroes

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no one told him there was a place where heroes died, but he should have known it was in love

bienvenue (a poem)

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if you lost your list on your way here i will help you get what you came for.

Return

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We head home, skirting along the coast, humble before catapulting waves; the lighthouse near invisible if not for a single band of red.

Yet More Band Names For Sale or Rent

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Random Access Hundred Dollar Bill Burning Question The Black Truffles Open John Queasy Sister Tortoise and the Hair Duck Tail and the Wrap Stiff Resistance Knee Jerk Reaction Tough Cookie Bar Code and the Illusion Erosion Eroti

It Was the Heart of the Sixties

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I remember Freddie K bringing these fat Thai joints back with him from Viet Nam, and just one of those things would get us all so stoned at parties in Jolene’s upstairs apartment that we felt as if we could float down the long flight of stairs like we w

Nervous Energy

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This is what you have to do to keep the unruly parts of your brain from open revolt.

The Human Bible

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Fat, religious, full of himself,

The Bachelor Pad

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Someone had scrawled her on the walls.

Full of it

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My life isn't exactly what you'd call glamorous. Hell it's not even good. Not like that bathroom cabinet, getting cleaned every other day and handled like it's made of glass.No, my life is literally full of shit. They come, they sit, they shit. On the good days, I'm lucky…

Writer's Block? Get Nacreous!

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If you have writer’s block, it may be because your childhood wasn’t unhappy enough, but there’s nothing you can do about that now, is there?

Generous World

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perhaps because it knows that time’s a solvent/ and dissolves all things in time.

Testosterone

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"All he wants to do is watch the Hallmark Channel"

The Starfish and The Pin Joint

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The two boys walked the long dock to the edge of bay,like scrappy lobsters pointing toward the waves,"The cockroaches of the sea,"his father said,It was the old country"Only prisoners were fed lobster.They stayed in the dampholes."He thought the sea ebbed and flowed like a…

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT THE FIREWORKS

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My chin is half-eaten. My chest is gone. There is a rhythm to how each flame licks me. Like how you used to in the mornings before work. Before the coffee. Before the toaster. Before a rose clenched between your teeth and dancing.

It's My Life

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Look, “Wolfie,” (or “Pharaoh,” or whatever your name is now) a little too much information, don’t you think? I don’t need to hear all the details about you and Sharon. It’s my life, and I’ll cry if I want to – to alter the song just a

When We Knew

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That son of a bitch meant every word. Every filthy mouthful of insults that hit me was intentional and focused.

Closedness

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We are / packed in a speck of dust / adrift across the universe, / revolving an ember.

Fireflies Flew Out of the Slice of Life

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In the beginning there was salt God licked the salt and said it was Good. Then there was Light Then Chocolate The rest is just History It’s no great Mystery Oh, and Fireflies Fireflies with Due Dates Flew out of the Slice of Life S

Driving in Jeddah

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In suburban Jeddah magnificent houses on every corner of the avenues are surrounded by high walls rising up from just inside the roadside curb to much beyond taller than a man.

The Audacity of My Ass

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But then there were car windows bashed out on both sides Glass on the ground like Kristallnacht

That Old-Time Religion

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The road to heaven is littered for miles with dead sinners, or more precisely, the sides of the roads are lined with crosses on which the sinners are nailed. It has always been so, since time started ticking for Civilized…

For Starters

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A bar of chocolate stuck in pudding (don’t you see where this is going)

Mothers

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There's a surprise for you!Why did she think I would have been pregnant? I hadn't seen her for ages, neither people she knew, so it wasn't my weight ...She opened the door, a sigh of relief on her face, thank God she thought ... She isn't.The surprise was we came to visit,…