4414 130 66
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an after-thought of scattered pines
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4365510
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It’s Halloween in veterinary school. The large-animal vet who is lecturing today on introductory nomenclature in bovine medicine is dressed in full Holstein uniform. His entire body is cloaked in white cloth, with black patches sewed on and a three-dim
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43448037
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They live on the edge of town. There is a cornfield behind their house. When the wind blows, it is like the hands of many children clapping.
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430644
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This was my quest for over 6 years. It would deplete my bank account, test my marriage and get me in with a lot cool celebrities.
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42614332
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I bought / a radio embroidered with pearls
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421843
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If it weren't so dark now, I'd go outside. One day it'll be easier but right now, not for a long time, it's not in me.
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420031
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When it started to really sink in that Audrey might never meet Mr. Right and that she may never have the rose garden wedding, the South Pacific honeymoon or silver Honda Odyssey replete with plump-cheeked kidlets snoozing in car seats, she got an eight-we
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419801
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We weren't sleeping much, either one of us. We went through the ritual, Pat and I. I brushed and flossed and got into bed and read while Pat took her contacts out and applied a…
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418200
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Bess spent the summer that year at a lakeside court in Lake Elsinore. They told her she only had to spend three months there, before she was allowed to have a spot of her own at the nudist camp. Just three months. But Lake Elsinore seemed like something
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41733033
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Once you start telling the truth it's hard to quit. You look around and reasons are everywhere. It's like a new appliance, truth-telling, a can opener that's so good you barely have to turn it.On the phone my sister asks me why I don't come out and see her in San…
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41331912
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It was a sore molar that was giving me trouble, on the bottom right. The dentist, about whose adulterous affairs everybody in the neighborhood knew and whispered about, ts-ts-ts'ed me and murmured "decay" before pulling out the drill.
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406298
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Samuel wondered if Megan could hear the brains humming, but like so many of the questions Samuel had for Megan, it was difficult to find the right moment to ask.
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405365
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And now the McRib
is back. Two dollars.
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40445919
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First published on www.humortimes.com
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401450
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"... not just a jerk, you're like the king of the jerks!" the Black man said as they came into earshot. "When other jerks look for leadership, they just pick up their cell phone and you're pre-programmed in as the first entry on their speed dial!"
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39886841
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She was proud of her breasts, which were large, adult size. I didn't have any breasts yet, but the doctor said not to worry.
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39463921
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The streets have terrible breath, it’s said, and everyone hides but the young, who have slick, naked shoulders and fragrant tobacco shreds in the linings of their empty pockets.
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394532
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If you work in a library, you work with book carts, so naturally you give them nicknames. You could call your faithful book cart Bumpy, Squeaky, Rusty or Tipsy. But surely you can do better than that! Here's…
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39375230
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The boys' mother lived in a house two lawns from his, but she wouldn't bring him ice packs; she had her period, she said.
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39223118
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He didn’t hug me. He didn’t hug any of us. Instead, he shook my hand, his grip so firm I felt the bones of my hands crumbling in on themselves.
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391011
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Oryn Zentharis accomplished many things in her life. She completed her greatest desires with a driving force and believed anything was possible.
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389579
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It’s Leap Year and my school is observing Sadie Hawkins Day, which means the sixth-graders have a dance where the girls ask the boys to dance and the rest of us get to dress up like hillbillies.
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38594238
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The Italians live on top of the ruins of Roman cities and medieval settlements, of the towns and villages of the Visigoths and the Vandals, gesticulating, fornicating, craving poems, like all of us.
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38562719
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The man is not happy at home. When he sees his wife or his son, he
knows that he should be, but he is not.
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381731
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That’s right–Bob Dylan, ne Robert Allen Zimmerman–will be riding shotgun with me as we head north to fight the good fight against the Democratic Party’s war on women.
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380431
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¿Qué habrá sucedido durante la invisible noche que se abre tras el sueño, esa Narnia en porciones individuales, para que el día se haya bestido, y con urgencia, de ira?Como si tubiera las manos bañadas en resina, intento limpiarme los ojos a zarpazos del filtro que…
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376761
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I decided to cheat on my husband the day the washing machine broke. It was Darrell's fault, anyway. If he hadn't tried to wash the dog in the Maytag, none of this would've happened. It just goes to show that a man who forsakes the normal use of a househol
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3719105
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Honey, you eat this salmon, now
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368885
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36673621
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Mina stumbled and fell headlong into her apartment, smacking her knees and palms on the hardwood floor.
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