6022 35 20
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Ok so oops. I messed that up. I made it sexual when it was sweet. Oops. I swear it was the beer. Ok I lie. I always lie.
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60074333
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I bought / a radio embroidered with pearls
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60055230
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The boys' mother lived in a house two lawns from his, but she wouldn't bring him ice packs; she had her period, she said.
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5916915
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Margaret and I are going to Chicago. Everything we do this morning feels final, as if we are doing it for the last time, which is probably true.
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59098037
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They live on the edge of town. There is a cornfield behind their house. When the wind blows, it is like the hands of many children clapping.
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588713066
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an after-thought of scattered pines
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586563
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Winston Peacock had had a long day that New Year’s Eve of the final full year of his old life. There had been contemplation about the grave failures, the money lost. The third quarter of this past fiscal year had been especially dismal.
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585855
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Camper Stacks arrived at the offices of BURN magazine on January 14, 1989 in a state of unaccustomed joy: Lou Reed was going down.
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584153
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This is what magic feels like. Excitement. Clarity. Danger. Justice.
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57563210
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When you take her grocery shopping
take a list and make her stick to it
as she forgets and duplicates a lot
She is also very generous
and will insist on buying you something
I think she cannot live without fresh flowers
or plants that are bl
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5725102
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One day I was sucking down the HG French Vanilla, and the next day my body plugged itself into some universal energy grid. Like some unseen force had snuck into my body and somehow a biological experiment had gone terribly wrong. The unintended result was
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57131212
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We got this new group man--it's dynamite! I'm up front--no more bass--just front man--and this cat Jack on lead and Stokes the drummer and this outasight piano--he used to be with the Dead--
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56832920
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Some women, it is said, like to fuck.
This book--The I Hate to Fuck Book--is not for them.
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56474123
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I really detest dating that leads to sex=ownership or to the expectation of it. The men are so quietly demanding, authoritarian, pushy. Who are these nice fuckers? Strays a'hounding. I want to tell them: I have friends, real friends with art agendas.
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56054016
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Most of us are just ordinary mutts with no gift for writing, nothing like Joyce James [or] any of those...
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5605113
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The man meets a woman while out on his lunch break. She seems nice; they strike up a conversation. Before leaving, the woman gives the man her telephone number. The man goes home and thinks about it.
It’s been a long time since he’s been on a date.
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560082
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An old man writes the story of his life into a book.
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559662
|
I was a late bloomer in the pubic department. I used to stare at myself, practically counting the little blonde hairs that never grew and refused to darken.
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557521
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Freedom comes with a price
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55591817
|
Sex when you’re pregnant
Is like sex when you aren’t
Pregnant, but with extra people.
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5536138
|
"Life's Little Instruction Book." There are some words of wisdom here that I plan to ignore.
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55053914
|
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54931216
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My wife has gone in Laos to translate foreign tongues, and I await the day when I too may leave.
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548944
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This was my quest for over 6 years. It would deplete my bank account, test my marriage and get me in with a lot cool celebrities.
|
546398
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Samuel wondered if Megan could hear the brains humming, but like so many of the questions Samuel had for Megan, it was difficult to find the right moment to ask.
|
545361
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I decided to cheat on my husband the day the washing machine broke. It was Darrell's fault, anyway. If he hadn't tried to wash the dog in the Maytag, none of this would've happened. It just goes to show that a man who forsakes the normal use of a househol
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54293220
|
It’s never good to get arrested on an empty stomach.
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53745919
|
First published on www.humortimes.com
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53153425
|
and floated along withus like it was attachedwith a string. I thought thatmeant we had a boat incase of emergenciesbut she said it was sadto see it followingin our wake like a cork.I still think it looked everybit the stylish silver-capped swimmer doingthe…
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52924536
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She said she wanted to find a man who could appreciate a woman who gave great head.
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