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He kept the lawn mowed at the perfect height. He mowed it twice a week to one inch. Some weeks he mowed it a third time for good measure.
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"The editors at Travel & Leisure are more interested in perks from advertisers than the survival of the human race.”
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Mr. Lowell knelt down and put his face in his hands, his knees quickly covered in blood. Sobs.
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Some trick of the morning light makes the tattoo on her ankle look like the burn from a branding iron. She had watched her father as he slept last night. He was handsome and innocent, like a baby boy.
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We fold it end over end, meeting in the middle where she takes it, and I let go...
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Everyman: I quit, remember? I’m in a twelve step program now.
Alcohol: Oh sweetie, that’s too bad, we had some great times together.
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Then I learned she was revealing all our sexcapades to this young priest.
Forgive me, father, I have sinned. We had sex outdoors against a tree in Wisconsin and the tree was blending with our act and becoming one with my back rubbing up against the bark
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Knowing this is too long for here I won't be crushed or enraged if no one has the time to read it. Also, it's not fiction.
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Forgive the earth that’s
got a hold on you.
Forgive the trees.
Forgive yourself,
you were
damaged goods.
Therefore,
quit looking for the
expected.
Look instead
at the unknown
as a fact.
Describe it.
Use great detail.
And
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When they first met at the bar, right away
he was sweet on her.
He drove an old oil-burning Buick or Olds,
going down the road like a smudge pot.
He never kept food in his car,
where it would get hot and spoiled.
He only picked nice fresh
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7 — IT'S HARD TO HAVE FRIENDS WHEN YOU'VE NEVER HAD ANY AND ARE STILL FUCKING WHINING ABOUT IT — Once he learned he didn't “bring anything to the table,” Worthless Veikass hit on the notion of [...]
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I cannot find my way back to the bubbling navel of the universe because of Spongebob Squarepants.
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...when they spotted each other through the glass, with he inside and she outside, she quickly began licking her fork obscenely, attempting to exhibit her sexual prowess with regard to the dexterity of her tongue and mouth...
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Bands:
Free Blankie
My First Dustbuster
Sledge Hammer
Glove Compartment
Hot Weather Lady
Cattle Prod and the Punks
The Cowpokes
Poker
Two Fingers In
Occupy This
Tidy Up
Goal Keeper and The Kneecaps
Leslie Sweet And The Kitchen
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And so began my love affair with a thick, semisold substance. Sort of like Mary Van de Velde, the chubby girl who was my partner in my 6th grade polka troupe.
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#2 The Typewriter Inside You by Harmon Gentle—I found this one at a garage sale when I was 15. Intended as a manual for sharpening one's typing skills, by the third chapter it became obvious that Mr. Gentle's sanity had slipped, and that rather than mastering the…
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was beaten in
the back of the brig.
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...I’m honest enough to know that fucking around has never been accidental or unplanned. Every time I did it, even in the rock bottom throes of esteem, sobriety, and life, yes, even on the brink of suicide, I knew exactly what I was doing...
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December scent
rains coming down
sodden leaves underfoot
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Out here in nearly nowhere I met this man. About him I know something something, and no one can tell me otherwise.
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The last of the Kazan Tatar Khans. Each dome represents a severed head.
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She threw the wine glass on the floor.
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When I bumped my head I almost fell to the ground Not so much stars As flashes of lights That looked like sparklers My mother chasing the dog She never catches it The cat sits on a nearby chair It's head moving as the dog does …
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This book is for those who have learned that sex is one of life's unpleasant experiences--like paying taxes, or renewing a driver's license--that does not become less painful through repetition.
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And him, now there’s a him. I’d like if he were perfect, but perfect things never are. My daughter says it best, when she contrasts the two of you, “Daddy worked to forget about his problems. When he works, it makes him feel like there is a problem.”
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First Fall in Love by Darryl PriceWhat the black lives matter peopleare saying is black lives matter, too.Just as much. What blue meanies aspeople are saying is blue mattersmore. I don't believe that and neithershould you. What the green lives matterpeople are saying is we…
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This is what my summer has come to: me, out of a job, aimlessly driving around the city looking for places to write, places to read, places to occupy my time.
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Pete told me, honest to God, that the first night he had that tortoise back home with him, he woke up the next morning bald. The damn thing had eaten off all his hair. So then Pete figured he'd strike up a deal with Clarence Magee, the barber.
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