Stories tagged politics

der Morgenmuffel

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I sat on the corner of her desk ... Angela Merkel can be a sweetie when she wants to be.

BLAH BLAH

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I get out of the pitstop at the reststop, wade through parking lot hiphop. Hummers with Jesus Luvs George W bumper stickers, and a subdued slow hurricane of dour obese women in powder blue and tepid brown walking about the place like zombies. And I see t

Highway Robbery

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I knew her face but not her hair, at least not the right way up.

Waiting for "Barney" (Mordecai Richler's version)

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But there’s a special place in my heart for Richler’s tour de force of a novel, his grand finale, Barney’s Version. It has everything — humour, a whiff of mystery, poignancy, a suggested reading list for a literary illiterate like yours truly, the Falstaf

Dotting every 'i'

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“Why is it that you give a woman a bit of power and she turns into a man” said a new intern from the copying room “You can hear her balls rubbing on the carpet as she walks”

Just a Joke

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The pizza was perfect, ingredients genuine, not artificial: crust charred slightly; cheese gooey; sauce steaming, requiring careful eating lest the mouth suffer burns. Such quality was becoming rare around town. The product in Manhattan, by and large,

SIX POLITICALLY INCORRECT SONG LYRICS

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I hope I don’t have aches and pains in heaven Cause here on Earth I ache in all my parts These old bones don’t have the spring they used to I sure hope heaven has electric shopping carts

Our Last Tea Party

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It’s the Tea, stupid. Drink up.

Me and The American Dream

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Last time I saw the American Dream was last Tuesday, down at the Unemployment Office. He was looking pretty worn out, as if being unemployed for over a year was finally getting to him.

Conceived in the New Liberty

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Each mobile unit carried an Alsetex grenade launcher for dispersing tear gas. Any group of five or more people was deemed suspicious and immediately dispersed by roving patrols.

Enigmas

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Fish don't walk.

The I-Penis

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You’ll end bar-hopping once and for all You’ll never leave the house Steve took this one with him to the grave because he knew nerds everywhere would stop speaking to him Yes, that’s right, it’s the magnificent new I-Penis with built-in 10 m

Here's the Trouble

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I live in the Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Cabernet Mustard Sauce, and she is a hard mistress if there ever was one. So, go easy on me.

More Alleged Victims of Botched Buttocks Surgery Emerge

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If you too have been damaged in the behind, you know, kicked in the ass multiple times, metaphorically or otherwise, you are encouraged to come forward with the evidence, while the tracks are still fresh.

Foreclosure

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Mirror, mirror, on whose wall? Now we can’t even play foosball