The I-Penis

You'll end bar-hopping once and for all

You'll never leave the house

Steve took this one with him to the grave

because he knew nerds everywhere would stop speaking to him

Yes, that's right, it's the magnificent new I-Penis

with built-in 10 mega-ram technology

that just won't let you down in the middle of the night

even during blackouts

Get it now at your mega I-Sore store

Get one for your sister — why not buy 2?

Hurry, while supplies last

You don't want to miss out on this discovery of a lifetime

I-Penis

You'll love it to death!

(Warning: may cause some damage

to normal human relationships — but who cares!)