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Badface Investigates - Fighting

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I’m lying on the floor curled up in the foetal position and about six people are stamping on me. [...] It’s really confusing down here, what with all the kicking.

It Can Hold Us All

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Look out for rotten ice. If you fall in, pull yourself out like a seal. Take off all your clothes and get to shelter.

one for the runners

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it always takes too long to figure it out

confetti

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i’ve started writing these things down on blue-lined notebook paper or really anything i can get my tendonitis-ridden hands on.

The Poet Begs

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William Walsh Queen Anne's "Gentleman of the Horse," poet and friend of Alexander Pope thought Caelia proved cruel for not giving him the toy he begged. So he wrote in The Despairing Lover. William Walsh …

Love and other entreaties

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it’s okay, you can come inside me

Bucket

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There was a bucket of shit . . .

Rude Awakening

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Vito suddenly found himself wide awake. He was unable to recall having fallen asleep or dreaming or awakening. It seemed he'd just entered bed, yet a glance at the windows told him it was already the middle of the night.

My Affair With Tiger

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Face it girls, you want to claw my eyes out, don’t you? Or whack me across my 36 DD’s with a golf club, am I right? Well don’t blame me if I’m young, gorgeous, full-breasted and obviously the cat’s meow.

Control

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The eater's pose extending the fork in hand toward the bowl wherein the appetizer lay readied. Salad, carefully configured for its purposes mixing vitality with pleasure which should not be differentiated, don't you agree? Colors selected for their…

In the Sand

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A man stood on the beach, looking out over the ocean. He watched his son practicing turns in his sailboat, and pushed his feet Under the warm sand. Above him someone flew a silent helicopter. "That's my son," the man was screaming even though there was no…

The Kiss

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"Dude!" James smacked Peter's head. "Don't be a jerk. Did you get a look at her or not?" Peter said, "I didn't really see her face. Is she hot? Do you wanna kiss her face?"

narcissus, remember me

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You were never at all like Narcissus, trying to remember girls’ names with marble in their eyes. You never adored your own image, looking at yourself in the river, not like I did (looking in the mirror that brings sleep.) I remember you admiring the dre

Walt Whitman's Census Form

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Why, I ask myself, is a bathroom not a room?

I Go Cold Keyboard at End of Day

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Excuse me, can I now ask to change my favorite childhood color from green to yellow?

It's Not the Heat, it's the Humidity

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Maria Summer afternoon I love you I have good news The last day of school I long not to long Your eyes, absorbing not reflecting More like a garnet Not a ruby Thundergrowled danger Tinglethumb

Born to Be Alive

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When Mt. St. Helens erupted, I knew that was the end of Bigfoot.

Elementary

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He, an irregular chap, Was known for his hat with a flap. Had fleet feet and a very strong back.

Leaky Pipes

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I was thinking everything was OK, until one day I woke up and realized that I was living on an entirely different planet, and you seemed like a complete stranger to me. I was feeling so ashamed of these feelings, that I couldn't even tell you about them. I couldn't…

(6) Compatriots

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"It was here where he’d first seen the girl—Nan. Slender, with brown hair, pale skin, sitting on a bench, and reading from a pile of papers on her lap."

Bunny Ears

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Word traveled fast at school on Monday. Emma Jakowski had actually captured him. He was being held in her dad's tool shed. Anyone who wanted to see him had to be in the Jakowski's backyard by 3:15 that afternoon, chocolate bunny ears in hand. It was no…

Strayhorn's "Chelsea Bridge" (Webster/Mulligan)

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The chorus is a melancholy enlightenment; this is all I have, he thinks, the only transcendence I’ll get out of this day. I should seize it while I can.

The Great San Francisco Poetry Wars, 5

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and we got the apartment, which was on a street that backed up on an alley situated, as it turned out, right across the alley from the very first Hari Krishna house, where they would wake up at four every morning and begin their maddening chanting: Hari K

Heartbreaker

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He thought life was easy until he met you.With your vicious ways, your swirling hair and your radiant smile.All a man could want, all he could desire.And just that touch of strangeTo sway his mind like a siren sways a ship.But you refused, his offer didn't lureHis heart was…

FOR SCIENCE!

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According to the weatherman's morning forecast it was supposed to be a dark and stormy night. Unfortunately for Doctor Von Übel the weather had other things in mind...

Table for one

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Black tagliatelle with squid and funghi porcini. He didn't understand why they called it a special, it had been in the menu since day one they had opened.

untitled

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Emily's just two miles away She has a Theremin leg She loves to play hopscotch all day And slide home to tea on a sled Bergamot flavours her favourite foods Strawberries grow in her hair She doesn't like guns, she loves hot-cross buns And…

Lies And Bullshit

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You sit brooding at the barOn a Friday nightOn the patio on a Friday nightAnd people try to figure you outI thinkAnd I am so quite andSo tired Too tired to even drive homeDrainedI just need that drink to feel betterAnd I stare off in a hazeWhats wrong?I don't…

The Cats of Spring

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If you’re a mouse with suicidal tendencies My cats can help you to meet your endency.

Cortizone

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so i slather cortizone on the bite marks of my experiences