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When to Say Pussy

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I have hired a relationship consultant. He helps me through conversations with my wife.

Dream of the Feast

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I’d caught a small fish but there wasn't enough room on the bridge to reel it in completely so I carried it hanging from my pole along the edge of the traffic A fine black dog joined me following me into the shack at the end of the bridg

Still Photographs

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one will become a tobacco king; another will steal copper plumbing on moonlessnights.

Screaming Woman - Excerpt

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Bree was mean as a bag of snakes and had done laid out most of the eligible bachelors in Culloden County at one time or another to the tune that at this point no man who’d heard of her wanted much truck with her.

WE WOKE UP LEAN

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We were careful not to wake the kids & goodbye with a handshake & my skeleton is trapped with your universe inside.

Salesman

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A salesman, a born salesman like my brother, is always and only involved in the Moment, and it is the sale itself that is at the heart of the moment, and my brother Harris was really at the top of his form as a salesman. It can probably best be said, th

US Navy Honors Coltrane With Birthday Concert

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As unlikely as it may seem, John Coltrane was in fact a member of the U.S. Navy Band in 1947 in Honolulu.

Matar

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Gamo knows the Master doesn't make idle requests and orders the secret issue of weapons to the student priests, who now stand gathered at Kang's back. Swords, spears and shields are quietly handled and hidden from the Mantidean's view. Dr. Kang continues

Not Even

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That’s not just a trinket on her finger, that’s a rock, a fortress, a castle. No one can scale those walls except Joe Sixpack, slumped beside her at the airport. They’re not a match. I give it 5 years, max. Not even. Joe

Muralista

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For those in know know know there was hint of a wilderness Cadillac...

Around Close

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You know moments like these. You know how your mother ruins them.

That Crazy-Ass Willy Wonka Boat

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I was crouched under a bruise-purple sky on a field of battle. I held a World War I-era weapon, an ancient black-iron spear with a spring, and I was told to load balloons onto it without popping them, and then I was to fire the balloons at some unnamed ta

A Tangled Web of Likes

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Liking up with the Joneses...

Blueprint for a tale

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Remove with care, then slowly lay the string, wide well-soaked end at left-hand edge, to start, and allow to curve, to bend, to almost loop and wind its way at rest across the mottled, patterned green

In Real Life

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I’m starting to feel more interested in my savings account.

UNFINISHED

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In his dreams he was building a house. He wasn't sure if it was in the city or in the country. He wasn't sure. He thought, perhaps, it looked like the city but there seemed to be too many trees.

Room # 23

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She stood for a moment to think about what happened inside. She had just killed her husband of twenty three years.

Shinto Haikus

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He walks down the path Carrying the rice basket Red foxes lead on

Missed connections

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I lost my job but the government found me a new one. Now the government pays me to pretend I’m a travelling businessman. I fly around the country to imaginary meetings. It’s part of a project to make it look like the economy is doing well.

Dragonflies

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There are men who like to cut down trees.Women who strive to drain the seas.But what am I? What are you?Hallucinations? The dreams of dew? It is easy to be drunk on wine.It is easy to suck in cloud.But darling, wait, the light-beams…

Ghosts

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"Yes. It was moving, and not along the ground, either. We were. . . looking toward the cemetery, and the ghost or whatever was clearly visible. . ."

Incidentally

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It started (or maybe ended) with the boot flying off the balcony and bouncing in the dead grass in front of our building.

Will Write For Crab Cakes

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By: Roz Warren (and Janet Golden)I'm a humor writer. My work appears in publications from The Funny Times to The New York Times. Janet is a history professor whose writing was confined to academic journals and the occasional op-ed. Driving back from the Jersey shore one…

TRAFFIC JAM

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“No Jumping!” Med.z Tony says. I pull open my switchblade and dust off my shoulder.

Good Girls, Bad Boys, and Porn

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We’ve all heard the stereotype of good girls wanting bad boys. It’s been studied, ranted about, and capitalized on. Hell, Disney has built a kingdom off the Princess Who Lusts for Adventure and Falls for Rebel Guy with Supreme Confidence storyline.

Fixing Fence

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The sun is coming up and the work day has already begun.

The Night She Took Her Dignity Back

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She had endured three years of abuse for those hot, fleeting moments of tenderness—just enough warmth to keep her second-guessing the bitter frost. Now the ring promised a lifetime of biting back her pain.

The Undertaker's Son

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You would never see me the same again. You'd always be peaking at me from behind your mother's apron.

The Replica City

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From somewhere beneath the train, steam rose, which was—of course—puzzling as the train was powered by electricity. The steam condensed on the windows of the cars, making tears streak across the surface. Perhaps that was why the woman’s cheeks were shinin

Fluff

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I saw the little family that lives under the neighbor's backyard deck two weeks before while decapitating grasslets