Most recent stories

1740: My 7th Great-grandfather

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a half-moon hung straight up and down

Silence of Joy

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like a reflection vanishes

A Strategy to Overcome Rejection

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“If your work is good you will get published. Just keep at it."

Funny Jokes

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Why was the broom late for work?

Safe

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She left knives and hot pots with handles akimbo. Like a guardian angel, he turned them in. Like an ungrateful Eve, she turned them back out.

a pity

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The one that I love - doesn't love me.

Father Dunne's School for Wayward Boys #4

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I approached him slowly. His voice was soft and raspy. He said, "Kneel down my son, I've been expecting you."

Old Soul

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She’s an old soul who was scattered to the winds like a thousand butterflies and a moth She has no center and flits from event to event and can’t miss out on a thing, because crikey, what if she missed something important? And the m

Honey

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Cellulite is legal to have, either way.

Quitting Smack

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I figured he knew what he was doing–he was the crazy one, after all, not me–so we took turns snorting lines of equal volume.

One Black Wheel

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"..squeezing her eyes and mouth tightly."

M. Nerveux Chronicles: Toad Suffers a Bad Business

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Herr Toad smokin'

A Tale Of Three Titties

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"Someone should have told her that less is more..."

The Sharps

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How could a leaf be an accident?

Be Careful What You Wish For

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I got my new dog today, a toy terrier, as advertised, from an online retailer, and printed him or her, I’m not sure which, because of an inherent glitch built into the system, on my new 3-D printer,

Question

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When the dark shadows of his limp eyes told us life was slowly seeping away, stolen by his stroke, his wife signed the “DO NOT RESUSCITATE” order and, tearfully leaving the room, she turns, asking a final question, “Think a needy family could use his…

Things of Beauty

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The cover features Lincoln as a woman. Lincoln as a woman is not a thing of beauty.

Antigone Détente

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Tan my hide. Feed me to rabid / macaques.

Purpose

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I gave you two daughters. I gave you four grandchildren. I'm done.

THUNDERSNOW

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I know who done it. Them goddamn taters. I walked around the yard and started picking up pieces of the camaro, wondering if, from above, they’d laid the parts out into some kinda cult symbols or something.

My Drunk Friend

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My drunk friend is built like a hastily packed trash bag; full of lumps and portending very dark things.

All there is

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You need buttered broths and to copy old writings by hand by very poor light.

Oddities

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Sometimes he would get up at night, go outside, and stand in the middle of their back yard.

Truth

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…assume...

At the Bend in the Road

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I was at the bend in the road thinking of Robert Frost but there was no fork, there was no yellow wood, there wasn’t even a horse to ask me why or what if There was no decision to be made just a thousand tourists from Prague

Human Kind Can’t Bear Very Much Reality

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Particles flung by the sun pierce us through, undetected

hump daze

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Before you start reading this it is important that you understand that I know nothing about the evolution of horses or camels. I mean, I literally know zilch about which came first or if they are even part of the same family. In my head I imagine one of those charts…

The Birth Canal Was Easy

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It was time.

While the Light Lasts

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Smoke from bodies aflame tongues the strung moon;

The Option Package

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he felt like ranting about cars.