Most read stories

No Fat Chicks

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I have to look closely to be sure But they are there Bold stickers on three sides of the truck's cab Porcine cartoons Cutely admonishing No fat chicks! I am enraged Who does this guy think he is? This contractor's helper who makes …

Oh Captain, Good Captain: Part I

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I once knew a sailor...

wrong way home

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this little piggy

The House of Cézanne

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Is there anything more emphatic than an ovary?

We Are In Our Thirties Now

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For years, Nina lived in an apartment with furniture that was silver or clear or metallic, she could see her reflection in every surface. She had an enormous television that took up one entire wall of the small living room. She and Anna and Desmond, Nina's downstairs …

Chimes of Coins or Branches

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It must be some sort of Freudian twist, but as her cold fingertips draw rings on my navel, I think of my mother. Here, her body watches my tongue, asking my lips to curl into the letters of her name. I can't get erect. I remember my mother's face—her eyes almost…

Smack

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They shoot up through the soles of their feet once the veins in their arms are all used up. They shoot up in their necks like the cows on the African Savannah

Fernando

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“It's not him,” Kelly says. “I think it might be,” says her Mom. The three of us are sitting on the long sofa facing the wall which is one …

The Garage Sale

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She excelled at plowing forward. He excelled at staying in one place. Eventually the distances got too great and she put an ocean between them.

Having Fun With Literature

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"The tundra was as cold and barren as Mother Theresa's womb."

Attraction and the Forge of God

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Being burned with a branding iron really hurts. Everyone must have voted for the Forge because next thing I knew there was only God on TV

Experts Say Planning Key to Spontaneous Sex

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Priscilla Mainwaring has a little surprise in store for her husband Dan. “I’m going to greet him when he comes home on his 50th birthday wearing nothing but Saran Wrap,” she says. "The Cling Plus kind, not the Premium."

Feb 5

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He peels the garlic while I stir the lentils; he chops the cilantro while I peel kale leaf from stem. Also, the rings. Also, no one is going anywhere.

The Forest is Falling

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another paper saving 55er

New Year

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It was New Year's Day. My cousin and I were having coffee. It was about ten at night. We were outside the establishment. She said: "Sometimes I think you're not happy. I see it in you."

DOMA Do-Do

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His smartphone rang. A picture came up of him kissing the blonde.

The Passing of a Hero

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"...and time came hurtling behind him, gripped his shoulder/ jumped clean over him like a buck goat/ the world aged but he did not/ he spent his afternoons in an old car with fake leather seats/ drank cold beer under the olive trees/ or lay in a hammock/

Spiders on the Wall

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Her eyes creaked open in the misty morning sun seeping through my dusty window. From her facial expression, I could tell she thought I was watching her sleep, but really I had just woken up and coincidentally looked over at the exact moment she did. I decided against …

Nothing But Neat at the NBA All-Star Game

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“I’m sure he meant no disrespect,” LeBron said, playing the peacemaker. “For example, I used to be ‘The Chosen One’ but I changed my nickname to ‘Chip’. Like it?”

A mere second is enough...

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This was why the man on the bicycle was still in time to turn his head to her because he thought it was his sister who lived in California, because she wore the same jacket and in his inattentiveness almost ran over another cyclist.

The Duke of Travel

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...he had that same grin, better than a racy French picture.

We are the miserable

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We are the miserable, annoyed, dismayed sick. We slouch on black naugahyde chairs too pathetic to reach for magazines. The computer is down the young receptionist has explained to each of us in young, florid style, complete with “I…

On Senior Prom & Being Profoundly Unpleasant

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When I was in high school, we had a prom. The juniors were paired with the seniors; and when I was a senior, I recall meeting my date for the first time. You can imagine she was not enthralled.

Dream

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Lately, instead of the images of dreams waking me up, as has always been the case, it is sounds that jolt me awake. The thumps and roars and slithering of creatures unseen. The ghosts that slam cupboards shut. The apparitions of robbers breaking down the front door:…

An Eventful Inconclusive Evening

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. . . I just didn’t think to call the mortician from the phone outside the grocer’s store, how gauche that would have sounded to any passers-by, a call to a mortuary from outside a grocer’s store!

3

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there was the place where the large turtles had their eggs, and it was always a concern because everyone wanted the new turtles to make it back to the sea but the electric lights of high wattage along with sounds from the roadways beyond were in one…

My Resolutions for YOU In 2014

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Every year I make New Year's resolutions and every year I break them. So this year, I'm trying something different -- resolutions for other people. Hey world -- here are the changes I'd like to see YOU make in 2014(1) Cell phone owners: No more blathering on your cell in…

Five Million Yen: Chapter 73

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The pawnbroker sat behind bulletproof glass at the rear of the display area, a veritable potentate of hope and cash, exchanging expendable items for derisory cash.

Always nervous

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and still every time I walked up there - so it can't be the cycling - I was nervous I would do it wrong

Saint Basil's

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The last of the Kazan Tatar Khans. Each dome represents a severed head.