77 Words About Nothing [5-24-2012]
We tent camped by the river;
Talked to ourselves the entire ride and laughed off the questions
that repeatedly took stabs at if we were alright.
Alright is alright
but alright is a state of mind,
Right?
Having spent our last dimes on grape cigars and grape sodas
we skipped setting up the tent and let the trees canopy us from persistent downpours.
The raindrops wapping the wide leaves made the silence enjoyable and the sugar sweeter.
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Author's Note
Skipping stones and sharpening twigs ...
Other stories by Anthony Van Hart
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Good approach to lines here. Especially like:
"Having spent our last dimes on grape cigars and grape sodas
we skipped setting up the tent and let the trees canopy us from persistent downpours."
Nice piece.
Thanks so much, Sam! The 'grape cigars and grape sodas' line was the reason it came together. I got that line stuck in my head this morning and it wouldn't leave me alone. I love when that happens.
Anthony, there is some unusually nice language and word choices in this 77 word gem. Grape cigars and grape sodas might be a nice title if you are considering submitting this to zines/ journals. *
Thanks, Robert! Very happy that you enjoyed this. I've been pretty blocked lately and not writing nearly as much as I would like to be. This one came about pretty quickly and I was just glad to get something out there!
I like the grape cigars and grape sodas too. It loaded with information and attitude.
Thanks, John. Sensory overload brought those words to life!
It's not about nothing. I think the title is an error--both in its promise and, conversely, its timidity.
Nice fragment that made me stop and think. I couldn't decide if this is a piece about some younger people (grape cigars and grape sodas) or if it's about a couple on the rocks (Talked to ourselves the entire ride and laughed off the questions that repeatedly took stabs at if we were alright.) I love the ending, the decision not to put up the tent, and the sensory enjoyment of the rain falling through the leaves.