MEGACROCODOG

The Church of Chimera, which has tentacles in most cities, would like you to accept the existence of MEGACROCODOG, invisible possessor of the largest penis imaginable. You are promised an afterlife of bliss, as long as you pray to MEGACROCODOG and say his penis is the biggest.

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MEGACROCODOG is the one, true god. Don't believe the infidels who worship GIGANTOSPIDERCAT (whose penis is smaller than MEGACROCODOG's).

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The size of MEGACROCODOG's penis is in direct proportion to his power, wisdom and beneficence.

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What do you mean, there's no proof of MEGACROCODOG's existence? Close your eyes. Can't you FEEL his gigantic penis?

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The Church of Chimera sells postcards depicting MEGACROCODOG's penis, towering above his terrified enemies.

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MEGACROCODOG crushes civilisations with his gargantuan lurid cock.

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How much is that MEGACROCODOG in the window? The one with the fearsomely enormous penis…

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Martyrs are traditionally depicted with tears streaming down their cheeks, caused by the spectacle of MEGACROCODOG's divine member.

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MEGACROCODOG made man's penis in the image of his own, but much smaller and less shiny.

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(Secretly MEGACROCODOG, who may or may not exist, frets about the size of his penis and contrives ways of magnifying it in people's imagination.)