The Bird King in Love

by James Knight


The Bird King has fallen in love
with a radiator.

He adores
her pockmarked skin,
her neurotic arias,
her coldness,
her impulsive warmth.



Tiring of his dalliance with the radiator,
the Bird King woos an armchair.

She's amply upholstered
and groans dreamily
when he sits on her.



Now the Bird King is dating
a pair of curtains.

He strokes her yielding folds,
gently opens her.

But already he's eyeing up the blinds.



The Bird King's amorous capriciousness
reaches absurd heights.

In one week he makes love to
a toaster
a lightbulb
two carpets
a pet shop
a fruit bowl
a political rally
a helicopter
a heart condition
a daydream
half a dozen eggs
a swimming pool
an illegal transaction
a murmur
a cancelled West End show
a sock
five heads of state
a wart
a sneeze
a planet
and a mirror.