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Beasts of the Talent Show

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Finally my daughter emerges from behind the silver curtain, riding piggy-back on a gigantic proboscis monkey. She's preoccupied by his nose, and wrings it like a wet dishrag with both hands. If it hurts he's not showing it.

Famine

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To be perfectly honest, I was lousy at my job. Or at least most aspects of it. The typing wasn’t a problem: I can get up to a hundred words a minute on a good stretch of unbroken text, and I’m pretty accurate. I even edited as I went, fixing passiv

Arcana Magi Zero + Pure - c.2

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Mayumi approached them; her memories of their faces from the texts they received from each other had come alive.

Journey

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Do you know this song, Julia? I happened upon it one evening and only just before meeting you, a month before meeting, a month before arriving?

The Budweiser Sign and the Ghosts of Saturday Night

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It waited and witnessed the seasons complete a grouping and form a year. Then it watched them do it again. Winter, spring, summer, fall. It watched from the inside of course. But it could see. Big sliding glass doors and long and wide windows stayed the course also, way…

A Blowhard Drops By

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So, I say, what is the answer? The answer to what? You know. The song by Bob Dylan. The answer is blowing in the wind. You’re the wind. So what’s the answer?

Physics 101

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The cellar smelled like an aroused muskrat.

J.D. Salinger's Toilet Put Up For Auction

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Everybody will be talking about it on campuses across the country “Hey! You’ll never guess who’s toilet I bought. I’m not shitting you!”

Prosaic Miscellany

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Some days, you want all the red states to secede

Cancer Always Calls Collect -- Part 20 -- Stuck on the Pitch of a Roof

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Little things that kept me going are no longer doing the trick, and venting to someone eventually drives them away. People around you know what is going on, but there is little they can do. They stay away at more than an arms length and you understand. Tr

Warning! Please Read this Before Adopting a Pet

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One evening I came home late from work to find my wife drinking white Zinfandel by the fireplace in the living room and reading Wallace Stevens poems out loud to the dog, curled at her feet.

young salesman

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When I was young I bowed with such forgotten politeness, a young salesman, enchanting, in the silken trades. But I remembered the sun also when it was in Hades, which had forgotten to set, or to rise. Peace, also, dangled there by the neck. Such a pre

This Old Man

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“Have I told you this one before?” I can’t think of one he hasn’t told me, but saying so won’t stop him. I fire up the FreeCell game, put the phone on speaker, and pour a tumbler of chardonnay.

Exordium

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Overhead cranes balance ordinance from one end of the palatial enclosure to the other. There are robots, high-voltage, force-fields…more than a hundred ways someone could get hurt. I looked back again…She was gone.

Aluminum Canoe

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"Don't stab me with that," says John.

Broken Night

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Could I really seduce and rob a total stranger -- just on a dare?

(On Tuesday...)

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On Tuesday, he wears his suit to the cafe. Of course they'll let him pay! Of course. Under the table, his wife accepts their wadded bills.

The Face of the Moon, And Another Story

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For example, I never noticed that the moon had eyelashes, not until tonight. You said you couldn’t really see that, not at all. You preferred the fact that the word “lunatic” sounded like an attic on the moon...

The Date

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Everything was cool until she used the phrase, "five million dollar home."

Struggling with Hegel's Phenomenology of Spirit

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No one takes me seriously because I am an idiot.

two little water molecules

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away into a gale then sleet he gurgled with eddie the pike till he yearned and twirled the oracle of spider gloss till he slipped alone into the sky to find her in a violet rain they splat together back to back on the rail in the rumbling tumbl

The Nude Pianist: A Novel: Chapter 17

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Friday night in Little Italy is a big night.

Tomcat

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And, if you look real close, you see there’s a bullet hole next to his left ear. A stray one went past his head and straight through Santa’s heart.

A modicum of madness

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for the moment/ you think you know what you’re/ doing and do it.

Centuries of Falling

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I am falling, falling out of my body, falling like midnight onto mice.

candy crush

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1. we got off at the same stop. you approached me as i walked towards the stairs. i saw you looking at me, you said. i wasn't. i was looking at your magazine's cover. i don't remember what i said. i wanted to explore how to exist as myself however i wanted. i wanted to get…

All the Bad Things About Hill House

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I felt the most afraid I’ve ever felt in my life, like all the unknowns in the universe were rushing through me at once.

Suicidal god

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My dog’s on suicide precautions. I had to take away all her eating utensils--even the chopsticks. So now she has to eat directly from the bowl. It doesn’t seem to slow her down.

Fargo

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“What does it feel like to run, Thomas?” I yelled across the field. Thomas was so fast. I would never catch up to him. Even if I could run. He was so fast. …

leave the dog, take the cannoli

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he who laughs last is probably a dumbass fuck