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Our Sister's Boyfriend

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-for Franz, the least understood comedian of all We all knew that Marissa's college boyfriend was ugly — there was the way she answered our mother's pestering "Is he cute?" with a stalling "Um, well..." and then there was the fact that she hadn't posted any photos…

SNAFU (March Paddy Whacker Challenge)

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The unpublished writer remembered the carnage that surrounded his Foxhole in France and decided he was done praying. All around lay the evidence that no one was listening. The drunken pastor stumbled away.

The Last Time I Saw Jackson

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The last time I saw Jackson, I didn’t write down the set list. This time I didn’t write down the set list, either.

July 4th, Austin, TX

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It is July 4th, Austin, Texas, just after nightfall. On the bridge, downtown, I sit against the curb with my husband, his best friend, the best friend's wife, whom I have recently become acquainted, and their baby, Sasha. We're waiting for the fireworks to…

Curse at Your Smoking Gun

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// opening act: van featuring balloon featuring drugs // headliner: lubv ya babe

Street Parking

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“Everything is neon, “ I say.

Bone & Air

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Devoid of flesh and muscle, Composed of bone and air.

You Can Go Now

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The summer when I was six and my sister Audrey was eight, she'd walk around our house pretending to be in a trance, fingers strategically hovering over my mother's vases and lamps, leaving smudges behind on my father's heavy oak desk and rocking chair. She'd lumber past my…

Big Hot Day

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There is an emotion out there I can feel it already in me swimming around in my blood like a big hot postulation. Like a big hot hand of light.

Please Don't Pass The Salt

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The only silver lining? The man in my life and I are in this together.

The thing is

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It was not that he was boring – it’s just that he needed a lot of encouragement. When he came, he whispered to himself, ‘ohgodohgodohgod’ - like it was something to be ashamed of, to be sorry for. I wanted to hold him close against me but I also n

Neediness, Incarnate

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7 — IT'S HARD TO HAVE FRIENDS WHEN YOU'VE NEVER HAD ANY AND ARE STILL FUCKING WHINING ABOUT IT — Once he learned he didn't “bring anything to the table,” Worthless Veikass hit on the notion of [...]

Plastic Jesus in an Upright Tub

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Me and Dale chuck rocks at it.

Arcana Magi Zero Arc 3 - c.5

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Alysia raised the staff over the huddle and together everyone created a barrier. The wind blew past them and the grey mist surrounded them.

Notes Via The Coffee Shop

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Biscuits and gravy. I'm off today, I'm lazy.

empty

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feeling empty as the bottom of a bottle dry as a bone in death valley alone

Rejected York Peppermint Pattie Commercial Blurbs

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When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie, I get the sensation of being curled in a ball inside a cold, dark cave filled with my darkest, most paralyzing fears.

Teleprompts

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In what appears to have been a coordinated, coast-to-coast attack, country clubs across America were attacked last night with firebombs and heavy contaminations of herbicides.

Age is Relativity

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Albert Einstein was probably the genius of our age. Joe Biden is a close second, yet Einstein not only had better hair but a keener knack to think of things that no one else could, or would, or would ever want to, since if they did, their brain would shockingly combust in a…

Heat

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Flames dance behind glass

The True Price of Bed and a Bath

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So it's me and two other girls...

Missing

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... he led what might be called a quiet life

the difference between child-dread and grown-up-dread is the paycheck keeps the tears away

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the first day of preschool/ my mother walked me down the street/ to a tall building that cut/ like a knife made of bricks/ right into the street,/ an american flag/ sticking straight out/ just above the door.

Smoke

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She wanted handcuffs.

Side Effects

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When the medicine started to interrupt her sleep, she made elaborate breakfasts – sweet potato pancakes, crepes with homemade cream cheese filling, omelets with spinach and brie, hand-rolled croissants stuffed with bittersweet chocolate. It was in those e

Museum Guard

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"Well if we break for lunch at the same time wanna sit with me? I got fruit roll-ups I'll share." Cory looked up at the boy, removing her hand from the water only to brush a lock of dark hair from her eyes. He was still smirking, jaw crunching, saliva

The Legacy

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The old man had always known things, was feared and revered up and down the valley for knowing things. I’d heard the stories since the day I was born.

THANKSGIVIKAH

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It was a dark and stormy night.

Like Virgos

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-- All the guys who hit on me are Virgos. -- Like Gary? -- Like Gary. -- How could Gary be a Virgo? Look what he did with his hydrangeas.

Sushi, Bentham Ave.

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I suggested a threesome for her birthday. In jest, I thought. But here we are; me in my checkered Oxford, Katie in her red silk blouse, as planned. We're at this sushi place at the corner of 9th and Bentham. “Zuma.” I hate this restaurant, to tell you the…