1568 2 1
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Librarians love me,
you want to know why?
I don’t dog-ear pages,
I don’t even try.
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156821
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"I who?" Mrs Caterpillar slithered closer to the door, peeping through the peephole with her stemma. Upon visual inspection, she discovered that it was Mr Earthworm standing outside in the rain.
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156865
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I'm sitting on the B-line toward Park, and there is a woman with the same black bob as Mad TV's Miss Swan, and she is leaning the whole front of her body against the whole pole in front of me, and even though there is plenty of space around her, she is pressed up…
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156854
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But no matter how we died, we all end up here, in the Meadowlark Children's Cemetery.
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156832
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Scientists have determined that a tiny freshwater organism known as the "bdelloid rotifer" gave up sex 40 million years ago. And you thought the spark had gone out of your marriage.
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156824
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We got our holes in our hearts bundled onto soft wrapping cloth just like the gentleman on TV said; with smiles we set out towards our matching end of the same old stories. That's just the way…
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156821
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the Griot Grrrls stopped playing their distinctive brand of power progressive acoustic worldfunk at open-mics around campus
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156811
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By: Roz Warren (and Janet Golden)I'm a humor writer. My work appears in publications from The Funny Times to The New York Times. Janet is a history professor whose writing was confined to academic journals and the occasional op-ed. Driving back from the Jersey shore one…
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156832
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The elephant kept popping in and out of the savannah--which is to say, in and out of existence. It was an African bush elephant, which made this trick even more impressive.
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15682913
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With such demeaning precarity, I can’t read/
anything more than a thousand words
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15681410
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Oh to be young and vigorous.
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156721
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‘Miguel! A pint of Guinness, please!'
I might as well have asked for his mother's immortal soul. A smile as benign as a stiletto. But he served a clean and tidy pint.
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156733
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Let's buy this robin's egg blue furniture. Okay. Let's buy this album full of wren songs. Uh, okay.
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156732
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“You know who Neil Peart looks like?” Gram said, ignoring Aaron's outburst.
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156700
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Scribble something basic with traces of spectacular,pen every pint of pain spilled during the massacrewhittle the convoluted down to the vernacularboiled the whole story, now you got everybody crackin' upnow step back from the business like, “man, that's wack as…
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1567103
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Kitchen.
sandwich.
wife.
daughter.
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15671410
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One by one our friends are kicking the bucket. Let's get together. It's now or never, we figure.
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156700
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It seemed like only yesterday that she was making sure to remember bottles for Hunter and now he was eating regular adult food, and they were looking into tutors for next year, and Hunter was nearly four. Her runty Hunty umpkins was going to be four.
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1567118
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8) An exercise online calls for the first sentence on page 45 of the book nearest you as a suggested description of your love life. The book 9) nearest me still is _The Quarterly_, 1, spring 1987, that I have on my desk in preparing to write an essay.
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156711
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i killed a poetic boy yesterday. the old ladies in theshadows swore at him when he was walking home proud ashell with a new pocketknife. they told him we dienext week so laugh like you got limes for balls. hecalled them drippy old vultures in his native tongue.they didn't…
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156776
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She hadn’t died. She wasn’t a ghost. She wasn’t even invisible. She just wasn’t see-able.
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156774
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I can take you away, away, away.
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156786
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156763
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There was something about her eyes that he couldn't shake.
He stood in line, waiting for his chicken finger tenders and one large size 32 oz. cola. No salad (a childhood aversion he had never abandoned), and no mashed potatoes. Friday night and the eve
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1567189
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156720
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At first it was just holding hands and talking about Ricky's condition. Then it was leaning into each other on the sofa, Ben whispering my name into my hair, me wanting to put my hand on his thigh.
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156764
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An action oriented solution for bovinity
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156753
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Smoking is like hooking up with an ex-girlfriend: you know she's bad for you and that it won't work out, but it feels so familiar and comfortable and so easy to slide back into.
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1567113
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He had a country house, she said, but it was near the city. She said the house was about as old as he was and she loved it— from the wood-framed windows to the heavy wood doors... to the garden on the side of the house
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156720
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Last night aliens invaded our dishwasher.
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