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Unprecedented weirdness

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The weird thing was that standing here with himself, or what appeared to be himself, he had got so self-conscious that it was almost paralyzing.

Why They Cried: Deano

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When it came time to sell the agency—when the papers came for him to sign—it was a very bad deal. But he did not cry. This was business. He had gambled and he had lost. He signed the papers without a hint of regret and even pried open a case of champa

Precatio contra violo

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The drip of rank meat, his muzzle, his back-barbed tongue: red.

Claudine

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She lifts her head, nose heavenward. There’s a wet spot on my dress from our lovemaking, its aroma as heady as Claudine’s bouillabaisse. I hope she smells it.

Laundromat

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Who am I?

The Criminal Intern

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"Look, Ted, I'm on a timer. It's really hell here, you can't imagine. And I have a chance to get paroled early, if you do me a solid."

War & Peace

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I stand at the edge of the water naked as a newborn. Tiny ripples lick my toes.

Moon View Mountain Road

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I once read a book of warnings.

Burn

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I should have known to wear boots on Teddy’s motorcycle, but I didn’t know that when the engine heated the exhaust pipe became hot as a griddle. Teddy didn’t warn me, and I thought there was something wrong with that, but I let it go the way I jumped on h

Dear Scarlet

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It’s me walking in on you shooting up in the diner’s cesspool of a shitter, and you trying to conceal the evidence while you’re telling me it’s straight up your first time.

Wuthering Heights: 21st C Remix (Anti-love version)

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That Bronte woman had me painted like Eminem’s Stan Or a droog from Kubrick

Please, tell me of the smell of the moon

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Do you know first hiss of batter hitting groundnut oil in a shallow pan, I ask, on a morning after a long, dream-ridden sleep?

Handy in a Denny's Parking Lot

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A compliment is candy to the heartbroken, oxygen to a suffocating flame. The best hunter picks his prey carefully, selecting his line like an archer pulling an arrow from a quiver, quickly and efficiently, then flick! the line cuts through the air and…

Quail

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I can’t take my eyes off a tall blonde with green eyes. I catch her eye.

Dangling About

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Looking at his pale and pimpled flesh, he was repulsed by his flaccid and lifeless member. The accompanying bits, dangled about far from his frame as the summer heat drew them away from his sweaty and unwashed body.

Train Whistles In Wintertime

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Train whistles in wintertime made him feel lonely.

The Comforts of a Robe

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Woman With Water Bottles has taken up a little spot in the back of my brain, her hair tickling her eyes in the breeze.

Old Age

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Are they too old for life's little pleasures? The answer comes as I pass them on the canyon road one morning.

What Gorillas 'Talk' About When Gorillas 'Talk' About Love

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Eons later, Bobo evolves into Shakespeare. Bonus feature: wings.

Please Blow Me.

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[TURN-ONS: willingness. TURN-OFFS: rejection.]

H. Abstract

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“Dear, baby, what do you fear?” Or maybe it was, “Now here are the keys to the lock.”

Secrets of the Kama Sutra

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“No names,” she said. “I am the mysterious woman, and you are the handsome stranger.”

Limits on Lint-Rollers Tighten as Illicit Use Spreads

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The latest teen abuse of an ordinary household item? Late-night “lint roller” parties at which boys and girls engage in heavy “feel-up” sessions that can lead to unwanted pregnancies, white slavery and in extreme cases, marriage.

Star Heart

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This is the place I could find my breath. I didn'tSay I understood it. I only wanted to hold someone andMeant to. I don't care about the rules for caring.This place where I could speak was incredibly far from Where I'd once met you. The place where I could…

The Full Moon is Inside Your House

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When the full moon changes trajectory and comes close it pushes you to different gravitational fields

Paddle/ Pedal/ Piddle

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You say boxer briefs, I say pillbox hats

SHE HAS HER REASONS

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It is a well-known fact that my wife sleeps around. There. I said it and now everyone knows that I too know about my wife. Let me just tell you this one thing; she has her reasons. You ask me how I know that she has her reasons, but who would know better than…

Belief

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The child closed her eyes again. Outside was sparkling, sharp looking, when she blinked he’d be here, like when she went to sleep and found outside had been whitened with snow. She closed her eyes and opened them, then closed them again. When she opened

Working Girl

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Suddenly a hand shot up on the other side of a hedge. “I’ll have one of those!” cried someone who remained invisible.

Itch

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Clayton had a grin like the hand of a beast that stretched as long as her gravel road...