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Death of an Eikaiwa

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When I rolled him under the bed, I thought I would sweep him out later with arms curled up like legs beneath the shells of cicadas I used to gather from the laundry porch and set on the kitchen counter to scare my roommates. At least, I did that until…

i wouldn't give two cents for somebody to love.

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money ain't nothin next to lovin.

Grand Fury

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At some point, Spiro thinks, everyone must look like a sniper.

Five Breaths Or Less

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She flew through the air, linen skirt billowing around her. Below, her buckled bicycle was taking a different route. Less aerodynamic than she, its trajectory was brief, crashing into the ditch. Elspeth kept on flying. Time slowed, and expanded

A Fog Will Press Forever at Your Shoulders

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Sandy lay motionless on the ground, death giving her a look only describable as "ancestral."

When Bad Things Happen To Other People

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Years ago, I was involved in a freakish tragedy so startling and heartbreaking that it made the front page of not only my local newspaper, but “People” and “The National Enquirer.” I'm not going to tell you anything about it. This means that…

The Fruitless Resuscitation

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I was sent here to perform the autopsy on the norm, the status quo, the bourgeois.

Dream World

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I don't mind being dead. It's ok. Really. I've discovered a whole new way of being based on non-being. What else can you do? I like being invisible. I like groaning and rattling chains. I used to be a writer. Still am. In fact, it might be more accurate to say that…

Ballad

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Hi de ho, and hey, hey, hey; The farmer's daughter is made of hay. I went to touch her but she blew away, And noo ma hert is nae langer gay. Hi de hoo, and how do you do? The farmer's wife has a cold up her flue, And takes me away…

Black and White

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Chris and I have an understanding. We've been playing cops and robbers all morning, running around and stirring up shit.

A Story about Tourism

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It was almost like I was dreaming, he is saying, my visit to the ruins of the factory that made the first Narrative Machines.

The Squirrel that Ate Cincinnati

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The drug that brought me here is orange and opposable as a thumb. Therefore, send me a dollar and I will swim in your beautiful gaze like a new experience. We can be caviar together and create metaphors for the stars.

Alone Before Surgery

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I spat in the toilet.

HEARTTHROB SERIES

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And when you come back, you work minimum wage and have water cooler sex and your face is no more than archives.

FENG THE CHEF REALIZES CHINA’S NOT BUYING SALMON FROM NORWAY

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China refuses them politely, politely in that Communist way of saying without saying.

We Shall Not Go Unheard

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I am human, I am no piece of meat.I am (womb)an.I stand on my own two feet.I move my own arms and legs.I do not scramble eggsnor do I wait for the telephone to ringfrom possibly potential datesdesperate for my affections,none of them remotely worthy.Independent am I. …

Wipe Your Feet at the Door of Sex

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Jackson ran his sweaty hands over his vintage cowboy shirt hoping testosterone would iron it.

Hundreds of Hefner Girlfriends Lost, Feared Dead

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I've come to the Playboy Mansion on a mission of mercy. Hugh Hefner, my good buddy, has just lost two girlfriends in a single day!

Winsome Mshindi

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The cold and the ice’ve really stoked a fire in those old bones of his. He runs with the gait of a racer, front legs straight out—each extension producing a crack like Jack London spitting into the cold...

Packing

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I left Iowa in august when the air was thick and sticky. I had been there three years minus a few days when the boy I'd been sleeping with packed almost everything I owned into my car and waved goodbye. In Baltimore I had few friends and a job teaching English at a…

An Absolute Doll

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“Oh, I shouldn’t complain, I guess, but she did tend to get a leetle bit too caught up in that Hindernet thing, but I suppose that’s something younger people do today. Why, she didn’t even hear me when I would ask her for something! Can you imagine?”

Banging My Head Against the Garage Door of Religion

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The villagers smash in a garage door with their heads, causing some to bleed from the ears and mouth.

Sanguine

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Gripping the sink, head bowed, I let the blood gather on the rim of my nose, pooling for a moment, before its fleeting journey towards the basin.

Buster

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I should care more.

If I Was a Bum

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If I was a bum I’d risk everything For a drink or a smoke. I would beg and curse and steal If I was a bum. If I was a bum I would cuss out the Pope. I would not vote for anyone Because I would know truly They’d be telling gross lies.

Marie - the Waif

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Just let anyone else lay a finger on me or say the wrong thing when Victor is around... He is very protective. I am only to be beaten by him.

No One Is Listening

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Bum on a Parisian stoop begging with his big Jackson Pollack bare head in the rain The water running in streaks all over his brain reminding him of a painting he once thought of Man standing outside a bar talking to his own reflection

A Little Evil Will Do You Good: Kansas City Jazz

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When the Borgias ruled Italy they had murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love and 500 years of democracy, and produced the cuckoo clock.

Folk Music Returns to Roots, But Some Try to Keep Them Buried

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“Sandy likes the way Bob spanks, when he’s done she gives him thanks."

a supermarket horror story

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stoned,/ i made the mistake/ of walking to the store across the busy street/ to find myself in the middle/ of the pep-up/ for a basketball game/ or something like that.