The Book You'll Never Read

THE BOOK YOU'LL NEVER READ

CONTENTS

1. This Is Not A Test
2. In The Event Of A Nuclear Attack, This Message Will Be Followed By A Message From Your Local Civilian Defense Authority
3. Fuck, The Radio Doesn't Work
4. Trouble Shooting Radios
5. The Top 40 Isn't What It Used To Be
6. This Is A Long Distance Dedication To A Deaf Woman
7. There Has Never Been More To Hear
8. There Has Never Been More To Here
9. Here Is Where The Heart Is — If It Is Somewhere Else You Are Dead
10. What Is It You Are Trying To Say?
11. The Apocalypse Will Be Twittered
12. Standing In The Shadow of the Mushroom Cloud, Face Melting
13. Post-Attack Mr. Potato Head Triage
14. In The Event Of A Nuclear Blast, Keep Your Mouth Open
15. Break Open The Glass Case And Remove The New Girlfriend
16. Use Your Elbows
17. There Will Be A Limited Supply of The New Girlfriend — Use Sparingly
18. On The Use of Found Hearts
19. This Is Your Emergency Broadcast Authority
20. This Is Not A Test (Redux)