Stories tagged satire

Merry Christmas

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He picked at his food. The teen-aged boys gnawed the bones. The conversation was nothing he was interested in. Chitchat and family jokes.

Blanche DuBois Gives You a Tour of Her Company's Christmas Party

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You don't smoke, do you? Unfortunately, pet, there is not an indoor smoking area. But there is an indoor cocaine area!

Happy Trails

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"But is it politically correct?" he asked. "Oh, yes," said Hank. "It's all the rage."

A Felinist Critique of Macbeth

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Lady Macbeth goes around moaning “out, out damned spot,” when a well-placed lick would have solved the problem immediately, with no unnecessary and heavy-handed dialogue. Once again, clumsy work.

The Search

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“Sixty-seven responses!” Al Edelstein announces at the first meeting of the search committee. It has been just two weeks since Rabbi Feldman dropped dead of a heart attack and just a week since the congregation ran the ad: “Help Wanted: Orthodox Rabbi. Im

Fascination

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It rained on the morning of the party, and the weatherman promised it would continue throughout the day. But Marilyn didn't mind. She actually preferred entertaining in bad weather. Her rugs weren't valuable enough to worry about, and the gloomier the sky

Badabing Badaboom

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Tony Soprano said, “My pal Franco is a misunderstood hopeless romantic. If you don't capiche that, I'll have a conversation with your kneecaps.”

An Open Letter To Lance Armstrong

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When I get my legs pumping, I’ll pop a spoke if I'm not careful. Massive fucking energy! And all that fat I was talking about? I don’t even really have that much of it, any of it really. My body fat is like one percent, which the doctors tell me isn’t

A Scoundrel Responds to His Critics

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Silk loves a curve, as do I

God Bless You, Mr. Rinsewater

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Once upon a time, on March 8, 2011, to be exact, there was a flash fiction writer named Rinsewater who had a novel idea – flash fiction writers whose stories were published by indie lit magazines must be paid for their work!

Sniping

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Snipers wear camouflage clothing to avoid being seen. It wouldn’t do for a sniper to be seen because then the sniper might become the snipee.

Big Secrets

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O’Malley imagined the blissful, narcotic innocence of Toby’s world where soft-shell crabs crawled into people’s mouths and hummed a happy tune as they were chewed and swallowed.

Grand Heads for America: A Fable of Exceptionalism

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Greg Samson opened his eyes. He had never wanted morning so bad, since he had writhed and jerked all night with distressing dreams. Good morning, Georgetown. And yet, something was still not right. His feet and calves hung off the bed's end, and yet his h

Courage Under Fire

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Once upon a time, my friend and I met a nanny pushing a baby carriage and reading an e-book. She wore a plaid dress, blue stockings and a white barrette. A set of wrinkles marred her tanned brow. Multitasking seemed too hard on her. Inside the carriage

MOTHER MOUSE AND HER BRATS

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Oh, you aren't going to lecture us, for heaven's sake?