Stories tagged jesus

Andrew

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Andrew didn’t need oil and neither did his mother. In fact, the only reason oil was on his mother’s mind was because it was the last thing on her mind. He did not get up to get it, and she did not protest.

Decrucifixion

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"Isn't it time to remove the nails, and put Jesus to rest once and for all," Mary asks.

Scoundrels and Street Preachers

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As Clyde was walking by, the preacher turned his attention to the ragged soul who strolled before him. The sad sight sent him into even more of a fury; he chose not to hold his tongue. "What is not permissible by God is a man who seeks out drugs and

Two Months Before, Two Months After

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Where Chip's penis had been, flaccid and splotchy, there was only blood.

The Perfect Fox

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“You look very glum for being so white,” said the fox. “Do you believe in Jesus?” asked the unicorn.

Golgotha

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They were starting to get winded. The boy, his father and his little brother were hiking up a hill, cutting a diagonal path through hay-colored grass towards an outcrop of craggy boulders below the hill's summit.

Did You Know? Fun Facts about Flaggish Things (for Flag Day)

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One must never, ever wipe one's hands on a flag, and this wouldn't even be a problem if people weren't so lackadaisical about getting the flag out and up at picnics.

Stations of the Cross

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“Jesus fall the second time. You want a map? Ten shekels.”

Dear Plant Life Magazine

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I have enclosed a newspaper clipping so you can see I’m telling the truth. I’m in the picture on the far right, standing near a maple tree with my mouth wide open in a scream. On the far left is a rearing horse with one of the local farm kids on it,

Eyelashes

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“Well, there you go. Jesus won't let you drown.” They all looked at each other in agreement as one of them said this. I looked all over the pool room. I didn't see Him. Through tears and in between sobs I told them so.

The Last Words of a Genius

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The crowd gathered around the dying man's bed, waiting for his last words. He was a genius. The most prolific writer and philosopher to ever live. He wiped his ass with the words of Shakespeare. The thoughts of Plato, Socrates, Descartes, and Nietzsche w

Cornelia’s Confession

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Cornelia took a deep breath and then said in a rush, “I want you to make the Devil leave me alone, drive him from my life, save my soul, make me whole again, cleanse me."

Hide & Seek

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I have never seen doubt on the face of a Roman general,' he said, ‘but when you looked at me and said “I know”…that was a certainty I'd never encontered. You have crossed the Acheron twice.'

The Show Must Go On

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I had the idea for a pageant for my obedience school at spring graduation

Love

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Trent’s had many phases: Madonna, Bette, leather, water sports, rollerblading, haiku, chicken queen, rice queen, muscle queen, daddy. But religion? This is new.