Stories tagged dark-humor

Extinction

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“Feed me immediately,” he whispers. “Feed me for I am God. I am the Internet.”

the lonlely boy shoots to kill

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He was 5'3 with black hair and a come over. He was 9

Jackson Hubert Dies

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He was 5'3 with black hair and a comb over. He was 9.

Deep Pockets

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Garage-sale variety olive-green corduroy, elbow patches, hems too short. His jacket pocket produced answers one afternoon like strips of paper from cracked fortune cookies.

Fates of the Stepdaughter

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The girl started with jell-o shots, followed by hard shots, followed by beer chasers, followed by too much of the brand of whiskey her father liked, followed by blood poisoning.

Anniversary Cruise

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Harold often said he based his diet on “the four basic food groups: fat, sugar, salt, an’ alcohol.” As a result, his weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol remained dangerously high—high enough, she mused, to explain sudden death.

What's in a Name?

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[CAUTION: THIS CAN CONTAINS THE CAFFEINE EQUIVALENT OF THREE CUPS OF COFFEE. PEOPLE WHO ARE ELDERLY, PREGNANT, OR SENSITIVE TO CAFFEINE SHOULD NOT CONSUME THIS BEVERAGE!]

SAMESON JAMESON

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...This napalm can be used for a myriad of sovereign endeavors, and I will let your imagination be your guide so as not to incriminate myself. God Bless. -- Jameson Schreiber Dallas, Texas 1993

Charlie Rose Chats with Mark Twain

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It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Frogs

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The frog was splayed after its operation in the science lab, but not forsaken. He knew that his wife still loved him, even though he was in an advanced state of dissection. “Oooooo, Mdntf, let's hide under the table and touch tongues,”

The Good Old Days

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What she didn't tell me was that her brother Carl got fried during an electrical storm.

Noir

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Upstairs, in a room where some years later, the occupant would be murdered by his lover, I sat in my skivvies in an armchair and wondered if I should call my wife.

Skunks

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I tell people that we leave out food for the creatures to appease the skunk gods.

Skunks

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I tell people that we leave out food for the creatures to appease the skunk gods.

Senior Center

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Some of the elderly men and women are coming forward....