1255 2 1
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My third Rule of Success—and I may not have these in exactly the right order–is always get a pre-nup!
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115421
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118811
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I like babies and little kids, more than some people but goddamn, children's laughter out of nowhere (in the night, when you're not expecting it) is creepy. I don't like slugs smeared like nightmare goo on my summer-bare feet, I could do without them in …
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157611
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Almost 24 hours ago in Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden was sleeping just as he had slept every night for the hundreds of days prior; comfortable in a million dollar compound with his son and advisors around him...
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153000
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"Oh — what is this 'work' thing the philosophers speak of" sort of thing.
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101350
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The banality of his own state of boredom, a luxury to be satiated with violence, to hack with an axe the exposed neck of his friend.
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123120
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Her gaunt arms softly rose, sweeping in front of her with movements that were hesitant at first but, as the music that only she could hear took her in its grip, became graceful and assured.
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92220
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And then, like all those nights before, she just fell asleep seducing me.
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113721
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“He didn’t finish ‘The Witchcraft of Salem Village,’” Scooter says, tattling on his little brother. I’m projecting him to be a first-round draft pick by the National Security Agency in about ten years.
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186420
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Kelly looked at her screen. Did she really just type that? Is she really going that cliche? Apparently so. She sighed. "Well I can't erase it for fear of losing words so I might as well just go with it."
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73650
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Call me anything but Ishmael.
Call me Enamel.
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124621
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The supervisor, sensing the fear in me, pats my hand and says "Never you mind! This is normal in the tomato. Every few days we rile up, make sauce, and regrow again. Have you ever been in spaghetti sauce before?"
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103120
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I don’t understand what happened. I keep pushing your buttons but you won’t do anything. You just lie there, cold and dead, staring back at me without any light and I feel like I’m going to cry.
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101120
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I have one, but I want another,
A little greedy perhaps.
She's my obsession, my indiscretion,
My little judgment lapse.
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73311
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There I saw a woman with dyed long red hair
Dressed all in furs and a short tight skirt
Way too young for her age
And she was banging a tampon on her leg
At the performance of Ramblin Jack Eliot
And no one got up to throw red wine on her
Ful
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103030
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It began with the waffles, well first there were the potholders, but really the problem was the waffles. I don't even think she knew she was making waffles; much less that she had lost her potholders in the trash can the day before. But nonetheless the real issue here was…
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164911
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This is the story of my friend, Gil
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102721
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A ten-ton bus with ill-manners going slow
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110921
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For eight years I have been living with a man named Darren Fletcher, who I will refer to as “Bud” to preserve his anonymity.
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21120
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I saw you, old man, in the desertof iron and copper and cold.No sorrow there to subvert,your eyes repulsed by the gold,examine the joy of an apple,ponder the despair of a peach.The words you wish to unravelare words beyond limits of speech.I can tell you hide a strong…
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123921
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Looming ahead was another polite suburban party at which, after a couple of pops, I'd say something that embarrasses my wife in front of her girlfriends. Or so she claims.
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111321
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“The minute I stopped wondering about
the meaning of life is when I
finally started enjoying life.”
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61311
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Miranda laughed. The cream of the retail industry laughed...
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162621
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She used to think of him as someone to entertain with charming lies, but things evolve in unexpected ways.
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98531
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He had to
get over
the short bridge
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120340
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We’re more into the punishment that works its way in through the skin and coats the heart anonymously.
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90020
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My brothers, who helped support our poor mother, were Rudy and Emil, and there was a sister Blanche, who got married early on and ran off to Atlanta and never looked back at our dire situation. And Helen, who stayed in Chicago. And Silvia, who moved out
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105240
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I became infamous, in certain circles, for what I achieved, maybe more so for what I did not. I invented a dating service for seniors called “Carbon Dating.” I wrote a book called “What Real Estate Did for Me,” which was very brief and to the point. It
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88711
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Times they were a blazing, the Pheasant met God in Piccadilly meadows
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109211
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Précis Summer. Far from beautiful Prague, with its buzzing nightlife and pulsating, noisy crowds; away from the stamp, sway and spin, the odour of bodies, beer and cheap perfume; from the opulence and grandiose beauty, we sleep…
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