Most read stories

Enemies Are Taken Care Of?

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You took me to this great salad bar once, down in Chicago, on a special date. It must have been for my birthday (how old was I!) I remember that salad bar. It was the only salad bar I’ve ever seen that had caviar. I loved that black caviar. They put it up

Acedia

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Nothing new this numbing year 'til now-/ a forced recovery of voice through// recollection of the catalogue of regrets,/ disappointments, and the long collapse

Excuse Me, There’s Some Suspicious Activity In the Men’s Room?

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Someone has locked themselves in the large stall They’re smoking one cigarette after another And pulling long stretches of toilet paper off the rolls God only knows for what purpose And yelling for anyone who’s outside the stall To go get them

You're Never Going to Break My Heart

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Like any lovable lump of hidden rocks, these hills she breathes life into, blinking existence, are all well worth jumping up and over again and again. Just ask the little kids. Their endless landscape of discovery…

Take Abe To Mass

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Near Christmas in Chicago they used to have these pictures of a five dollar bill on billboards all around the city, with the caption: Take Abe to Mass. On the front steps before going into the church, we encountered a ver

I'm a Bohemian-American

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My first and so far only visit to my homeland of Prague was first described to me by a tourist guidebook, which laid out many of the fundamentals one must follow while travelling there. It was pointed out, for instance, that we would be “unlikely to encou

festejo

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ocean and hungermy two companions at saillike Madness and Beauty separated at birth

Snacking Sneak

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He was sitting in the library, slipping the pistachios nuts between his wet lips.

Tragic Love

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So lie there like a sodden Brussel Sprout. Leave your paramour to thrash about in vain.

dancing in the theater of the soul

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It’s the audacious testicle dancing in its theater, isn’t it? Carrying the legendary names. The bad blood, the jealousy the heart retains, living again under its skin, rarely enlivened by one of its own. There was enough angel in you that we would g

There Are Over 200 Religions In the World

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I am the man who was fired from a thousand jobs I was the model you saw pointing at the gleaming red Maserati At the Miami Art Fair, as if you did not already see it I was the girl named Calorie in that infamous diet commercial I was the boy named

It was a Dark and Stormy Night

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One of his big failings was getting pissed off about things behaving badly but not troubling to immediately fix them. He was working on being more prompt.

A Day in the Life of a Public Transit Mime

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We got a lotta people ruinin' the public transit experience. Talkin' loud on cell phones, clippin' fingernails, even flossing their teeth.

Epistemology (Revised 2019)

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RE: The big stuff: We don’t know RE: The small stuff: Half of what you believe is true but you will never know which half

Last Night I Dated The Universe

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Last night I dated the universe. What a hottie! I arrived on time and was feeling a bit spacey. Look at me, I said. I'm on time. Yeah, well, I invented time. I made sure you'd be here on time. Cool. Where do you want to go? Doesn't matter. Wherever we go I'm already…

3 Dollar Bills

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At home I cranked the oven and stuffed both pizzas in there and when they were ready I ate every crumb of both pies.

From the Writer's Diary

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I must pause in his discourse to step outside and relieve myself...

InSiDe

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dreaming in my cartoon life the car lifts its legs a hundred feet in the air

You Better Quit Your Runnin' Around

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I remember it was late at night I was with Johnny Appleseed’s younger brother Bruce Bruce Appleseed He was the lead singer for the band Fake Moustache Turns out he was just a bum Set on vibrate Who’d bought a 10-gallon hat once But h

The PRIMA DONNA & THE CHAUFFEUR: A Love Story! (in full, living colour!)

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You shouldn't look at my undies! I'm gonna kill you if you look at my undies again, you goddamn bastard! :)

The Day Felt

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Hoverboard plate glass of being upon within, splay palsy mothership. Sparks drift from beneath crouched workman's butt in front of a building that was ours last week. Tents with eclectic offerings pitched along thoroughfares winding through neighborhoods under dim…

Neverfull

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Neverfull There are still things out there I haven't seen— a mere tadpole blindly clinging to the base of the pond. I reach for every star in the inkwell but none are close enough— even on toes tickling the edge you'll never…

My Right Arm

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She's got that grocery store with one of them little ice machines with the polar bear on the front. She buys twenty-five bags here and I'll bet she sells them out real quick Saturday night.

Possible Wildlife (redux)

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This caused a problem when some raccoons, skunks and a fox were found lingering on and around the premises (separately, of course).

substance shadow spirit

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ride crests and troughs of ceaseless change, / without delight but without fear, / and once it’s time to leave, then simply go, / without regret, with no unseemly fuss.

The Optimism Of Despair

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He felt sick at heart, as if he'd just been told he'd been fired from a job to which he'd devoted 60 years of his professional life. And for no good reason; the profession no longer existed. It had slipped into obsolescence, like blacksmithing at the beginning of the…

The Finger of Love

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Wasn’t that you Giving me the finger Or was it just A dead ringer For the finger of love? Finger of love Finger of love Did you find someone’s dog do On your doorstep last night Something didn’t smell right In the middle of the night

Perhaps It’d Be Better If This Were In a Sandbox

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I'd been sleeping on a couch. It was the couch of another artist, a friend, the kind of friend who makes you want to think in star patterns that dance across galaxies and warm distant life forms that are impossible to see. This friend made me feel more like…

A Bite-Sized Piece

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But conversation, like music, is measured in beats, and he waits for more than one, and loses the moment.

Clowns, Panthers, White Clouds

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I ran down a list of the few car-related words I knew: Battery? Gas tank? It was an admittedly short list.