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What I remember about my grandfather were his fart jokes. When he wasn't telling us kids about how young David defeated the mighty Goliath or how Saul the pharisee humbled himself to become Paul the Apostle, he was telling us about the baby burp that begg
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1468108
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If you stop, you starve//
and they just offer what you do/
to others, starved already,/
and schooled, as you, in servitude.
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146877
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These clouds are what I havewith me. Their language is minebut it is drying today aswe speak. I catch the darkeningsparks, but that's not to beyour concern. I am sure youshall go on. What I wantis to deliver your song. Idoubt it is for anybody else.Clouds are good at…
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1468148
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The old lady is losing her memory. She forgets people's names yet so familiar to her. A little sheepish, she takes her basket and walks to the village. Just like when her legs were young, suntanned, shapely and attractive. Along the footpath, by the shop windows, over the…
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146897
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I’m on Discord but I don’t know how to do anything.
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146843
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I'm not generally a believer. But I do sense things. I see things.
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146800
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Darling Valentine’s pale legs shone in the dark, a beacon for the car driving without headlights along a tree-lined row of brownstones.
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146831
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Ashford Garth Willingsham IV stood looking out at the Gulf of Mexico from his mansion on Longboat Key. In his right hand was a letter from his divorce lawyer, Reynard Foxx...
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146863
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You may want to pretend to leave once or twice, peeking in through a window from a darkened room, to see how they interact. Never leave a new poet unattended with the pack until you’ve determined that the new arrival has learned to fit in with the other w
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146821
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My cousin and I walked around the village at night. It was beginning to rain, but we walked on. She had a jacket. I didn’t because of course. She said: “Sometimes I just want to know if he’s settling or he’s really in love with me.”
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146743
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I remember reading poetry in the library
/ when I was in college, after skipping
/ Sociology, Psychology, or Theology.
/ I remember thinking: What is this nonsense?
/ I don’t want to waste my time on any of this.
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146701
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[This story definitely WON'T be appearing in this month's "Alfred Hitchock's Mystery Magazine"!]
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146700
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At Christmas, the van de Kamps made the trip to suburban Downer’s Grove and presented Courtney with a t-shirt saying “My other grandma is a grim battleaxe.”
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146701
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On the ridge in front of them, appeared a creature, neither man had ever seen before, standing taller than their horses, the strange beast walked on two powerful legs...
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146742
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there is a tunnel / between your skin and the ground / for kisses to crawl
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1467154
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It was a dire and dun-colored year when groupies wept and autograph seekers put down their pens.
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146711
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We dance on rooftop, then I fall off.You're like, "oh shit."Pale blue lobster finds me. Says, "hello." Taps me with claw, "wake up." Looks around, concerned. Shakes me with two claws on collar.Scuttles away for a second.Comes back with warm, perfect, round glazed doughnut.…
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146700
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if i could i would leave/ my beating heart like flowers/ pumping blood upon your doorstep/ in gory testament/ to the way you make me feel.
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146700
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She dropped the bundle of faggots she had collected and spun around with her mouth open.
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146744
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Write me a Will you laughing boy,
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146796
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I saw Vincent one day, sitting at a café table that was situated right next to the quays of the Seine, with another artist by the name of Bernard. Vincent had his back to me, and he was leaning forward in his usual hyper-excitement, gesturing wildly
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146621
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“He didn’t finish ‘The Witchcraft of Salem Village,’” Scooter says, tattling on his little brother. I’m projecting him to be a first-round draft pick by the National Security Agency in about ten years.
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146600
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[CAUTION: READING THIS STORY COULD CAUSE IRREPARABLE "CULTURE SHOCK" AND IS NOT ADVISED FOR OLD FOLKS, PREGNANT WOMEN, OR THOSE WITH "MONSTROUS, FRAGILE EGOS"!]
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146643
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My hillbilly’s got a hole in it
And I think I’m gonna die
I swear you can see right through him
Got a big hole in his side
I think I pulled the trigger
On the truth gun at my side
Then it just got bigger
It started getting wide
He tried
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146622
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What a great feeling it was, the day I first thought about and discovered how toilets work. Nearly as exciting as the day I learned wheelbarrel is actually spelled wheelbarrow.
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1466104
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146613
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Seeing her in black /
with his arm around her /
from the other side /
of a glass door. /
He gave her a beer. /
She might’ve been thirsty, /
uncomfortable.
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14661410
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It was 14:24 official eBay time. Louise had spent hours looking at over 30,000 items under “Elvis Memorabilia"
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146656
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You say you want a resolution
Well, I got one
Let's start with nothing at all
No logic, no war, no whiskey or bombs
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146600
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The other night at work, some kid was in for swallowing a snail's shell. He was nine and, according to the computer, did not have cognitive insufficiency. That last bit was probably put there to make us all not feel guilty about laughing at him.
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