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Thursday

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Every Thursday, around 11 am, right after the cemetery where I work receives the daily shipment of cremated remains to be interred, a frail nonagenarian steps out of the driver's seat of his Lincoln Continental and walks, unassisted, up a flight of twenty granite steps,…

Charlie Rose Chats with Mark Twain

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It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Gateway to the Continent

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I got to Victoria station at quarter to eleven on a Friday with nothing but a small leather bag and the vague idea of getting out of London.

Carmencita and the Virgin

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It's blues, bars and boots since you went away. You were wiferustled like sheep, like cattle.

Plantar Fasciitis

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"Don't fuss, hon. I just lick it off like tequila."

Eve's Curse in Silence and Sorrow

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To touch our skin was filthy, to spread our legs a mortal sin. You closed the keyholes to keep us apart, so we used them to keep you out and keep our secrets to ourselves.

The Yawn

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La Petite Ange had lived all her life in Paris under the strange architectural twists of Notre Dame. She had been a Bluebell girl once, kicking her surprisingly long legs into the air to the delight of plumbers and Prince du…

The Stop

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You were busy, moving, alert inconstant motion; packingbooks, clothes, paintings;deciding yes to this, no to that. I was simply tryingto settle somewhere in the space.We'd known it for years when things were in place. Now, this abrupt interruption of…

Badface Investigates – Scarification: (draft)

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I can barely feel the blade as it first goes in. I'm pleasantly surprised. But as she drags the knife across my skin the pain increases becoming more and more painful rising to a point of unbearable agony the further she cuts.

Cranshaw at the Dinner Party / Cranshaw, the Cause of Wit in Others

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“What does the future hold?”

Bird

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That was really the problem with leaving. She had to leave everything, could take none of the perfection with her. Anything she took would’ve been too little, or too much, once removed. Once not in his house, not in his vision or touch, the magic would

toupee

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It wasn't until about 2:30 that my hairpiece began mauling small children.

Tuning Pegs

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Her face had that strange preserved quality Maybelle saw in many aging Boomer women — like an old toy never removed from its packaging.

Five

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". . . with the impact of a 18-wheeler jack-knifed into a Mini-Cooper as it hits the surface."

The Old Man and the Shark

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The shark’s voice was dark, warm and scratchy, like dying embers.

The Little Dog from Outer Space

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I looked at her, shook my head and tried to smile. She smiled back, beaming a radiance that pushed away the chill.

Cellphone Girl (Part II)

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The tsunami started, ironically enough, with a phone call.

Harry, A Slow Learning Curve

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He’d been wishing for months that he’d bought a retro clothing store. He would have called it HARRY’S HOARY HOSERRY. He would have met a better class of women.

In Memoriam

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...even unbelieving prayer muttered with quiet resigned breaths can not foretell or forestall stains...

All The Right Steps

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"I didn’t take my mother’s denial of my dream lightly. I wanted it desperately. I cried and pleaded, nagged and begged. On several occasions, I temperamentally got out of the car at a stop sign and walked. Once, my mother said that I was nagging her so mu

El Gabacho

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She turned to the window, staring into the dark. A smile crept to her lips and she laughed softly. “No, we can’t. I’m Mexican and we speak Spanish.” The smile vanished and she moved to leave. “No sé qué decir… sólo puedo llorar. Nada

Days of Thor

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Mars' circled state is slain, no bird of Jove That roosts protected in its green youth's flush; Its storms no more bring moistness from above, From blue beads cradled in one thunder's flash. The god of War was husband once to Love: Her arms were …

If I Was A Bum

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If I was a bum I’d risk everything for a drink or a smoke I would beg and curse and steal if I was a bum If I was a bum I would cuss out the Pope I would not vote for anyone because I would know truly they’d be telling gross lies

To Explain the Sasquatch Sitter

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And I was going into the visions you get before you go to sleep. And I heard her moan. It was so beautiful. I moaned back. And she moaned again. And I did too. We pretended I guess that we didn’t hear each other. That we were moaning in our sleep.

A Silent Scream

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She hated the noiseless dying sound they made as he stuck the hook through their eyes. She always wanted for them to scream, but they never did. They didn’t even blink.

Suspended

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In the beginning the revolution was all motion and energy. When the President for Life resigned motion and energy disappeared with the sounds of clapping hands.

A Conversation between a Dead Man, Himself and His Alarm Clock

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He was dead when he tried to wake up. “Wake up,” he yelled silently to himself, although it didn’t sound silent to his voice. “Brr, brr, brr,” shouted his alarm clock as it glared two red fives, a colon and a seven

When the Witness Calls

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Here they come, those witnesses.

Slather

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Your soap on the shelf in the shower melts with my every hair wash and I'll miss it the way I should have missed you.

PASSING CUSTOMS

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What Mohammed didn’t tell me was the house was owned by drug dealers and inhabited by wealthy playboys who urged me over and over again to accompany them to the bathhouse.