Stories tagged news

Decrucifixion

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"Isn't it time to remove the nails, and put Jesus to rest once and for all," Mary asks.

Beyond the Voice

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We might as well be honest: we’re talking about the two of us here. No one, not even the cameraman, had any idea even after all these years. For more than a decade we’d been bringing the six o’clock news into a medium-almost-major market region.

Reportage 1

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But oh my goodness ladies and gentlemen, out from under the vast reeking field, under this generation another generation has been rising and they are bursting up out of the soil of corpses they were boiling under there all along and they are bursting up o

Waffle House Worker Survives Wild Ride on Car Hood

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After three teens took off without paying and he clung to the hood of their car He wasn’t trying to be a hero sandwich or otherwise but climbed onto the hood when they tried to run him over There was some question and dispute over th

Ripped From the Headlines

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“Economic Stress in the U.S. is Easing More Slowly” brought to you straight from the office of Mumbo Jumbo in Wash D.C. (as in Wash your Dirty Closet) All day long the junior interns sit around their squeaky clean, orderly desks thinking

Radios from Heaven

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Soft grass and an instinctive bend to the knees cushioned Park's impact as he landed, the orange sphere in his grasp. He smiled as he batted the heel of his hand against the ball's pebbly surface...

Why the World's Fireflies Are Being Counted

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We got Bob Dylan on the wall wriggling from the lack of music and light among the spheres A great doubt has been raised and can be seen from far, far away for they are even afraid now in heaven that things can’t be going right and to

Chinese farmer gets life in prison for evading highway tolls

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Bring me your poor, your tired, your hungry anyone skilled at evading highway tolls Bring me your escape artists dangling upside down in a straight-jacket from the sides of tall buildings Don’t let them starve in the prisons of the world Bri

cell phone keeps ringing in Ukrainian crocodile's tummy

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What did they expect would happen when you keep your Ukrainian crocodile around the house too close to your purse, or your pants or wherever else you’re keeping your cell phone these days? and with those new yummy flavored cell phones that l

Cat summoned for jury duty in Boston

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Cat summoned for jury duty in Boston Wayward hawk loose inside Library of Congress finally caught (God only knows what happened to the doves) Vacaville roof collapse blamed on bird droppings These are a few of my favorite things Piano mysterio

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eleven o'clock spills despair all over our bedspread

More Alleged Victims of Botched Buttocks Surgery Emerge

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If you too have been damaged in the behind, you know, kicked in the ass multiple times, metaphorically or otherwise, you are encouraged to come forward with the evidence, while the tracks are still fresh.

haikunews

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Navy depends on dolphins to keep the Strait of Hormuz open. Comment: We’re in trouble.

Ohio Man Charged with Drunken Driving on Motorized Barstool

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A man in Watchupecka, OH, was charged Wednesday night with drunken driving in heavy traffic in downtown Watchupecka when he failed to stop for a red light.

Florida Man Mistakes Girlfriend for Hog, Shoots Her

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