26 0 0
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I heard you liked the back seat too, Honey
I heard that you liked to hear me coo
Well, I was just like you
But then I started feeling kinda funny
And I pulled my own heart apart
Sniffing at its neck like you used to do
And now I don’t know a
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106943
|
Here’s the keys to the house
Here’s the keys to the car
I’m going out and I don’t care
I’m going out to buy a cigar
Don’t bother locking up after I leave
I’m not coming back anymore
I’m going to drink whiskey out of a jar
Go out and buy
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600
|
I don’t like long walks on the beach
Or sand between my toes
Jellyfish stinging my butt
Saltwater up my nose
I don’t like long lingering glances
But I sure like fancy pantses
And, oh yeah, a bum without a bottle
Is like a car without a th
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110143
|
I was walking my Belgian Waffle-Hound
Past the Belgian waffle shop
I found a penny on the ground
And did a tiny little hop
I spun around and went inside
The Belgian waffle shop
And bought a little waffle
For my Belgian Waffle-Hound
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68611
|
I don’t like long walks on the beach
Or sand between my toes
Jellyfish stinging my butt
Saltwater up my nose
I don’t like long lingering glances
But I sure like fancy pantses
And yes, a bum without a bottle
Is like a car without a throttl
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70711
|
I have the fear of comedy
I have the laughter of war
I have the need of a commando
To come sack and ransack us
Over and over again, O
I am a pillow, a rock, an ant
A soft Southern deer in the headlights
I have the mask of Anonymity
Lyi
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86122
|
He sure can play piano
With those giant lobster hands
In his ratty raccoon coat
And his old black cowboy hat
His boots of Spanish leather
And face like sultry weather
His raspy croaking voice
Picking out the words so choice
They reall
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92743
|
My hillbilly’s got a hole in it
And I think I’m gonna die
I swear you can see right through him
Got a big hole in his side
I think I pulled the trigger
On the truth gun at my side
Then it just got bigger
It started getting wide
He tried
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94132
|
You may think it's illegal
Well, you'd be wrong, ya hear?
Cause you're just in the wrong
Neck of the woods
And it's legal here
Want some beer?
Yeah, that's right
It's legal here
Don't go opening the door
Any wider, I know
You don't
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88733
|
I saw a big dog
By the side of the road
I saw a small deer
By the side of the road
A little maroon water in a glass
As I was driving home
Under darkness
With the wind that was under a rose
New blood will fill the earth
And we must lo
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8311
|
On Sunday mornings I don’t eat dairy
Just bacon, beer, and Bloody Marys
I’d rather grab a pool stick and a beer
I saw you riding with him
In his old pickup truck
I meant to say good riddance
But I just said good luck
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6711
|
It’s okay, you can take me home and spank me
My bad, my bad, you can go ahead and thank me
Cause I may have been a bad, bad boy
You’ll be glad to know, O boy
I know how bad you wanted to hear those words
Falling from my lips like little bir
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1400
|
I don’t know who ran down your old pet skunk
I admit last night I was a little drunk
So it sorta mighta coulda been me
Yep it mighta coulda been me
I didn’t really like him all that much
And he kinda sorta, well, he kinda stunk
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5100
|
I’m on the toilet writing “Dead Ringer”
When the doorbell rings
And there’s no one there
Except a bluebird that sings
Like my mother long gone
Which all at once turns into a tiny woman
Sitting on a limb
Smiling down at me
And she’s sin
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3300
|
He needs to stay away from you
Cause you’re his deadly poison
You’re his snake hanging from the tree
In the nightly garden
Only his face is breaking up
You can’t see him anymore
Cause when you walked into the room
He slipped right out the
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