11842
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In one photograph, you are seen holding a large, expensive elephant over your head. You are certain the name of this elephant is Fancy Dan, though you are certain also that you have never before met.
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12421512
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(I'd appreciate some feedback on this very weird story.) A Frosted Mini Wheat walks in to a bar...
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20610
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Milton Glick waddled his girlish hips through my front door.
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72245
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1. Post Scriptum
Just opened an email from work containing an attachment of a piece of art which reads (translating from Turkish) “The price of love; one person pays”
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1289103
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“What? Someone broke into your apartment while you were there and did what?” “The dishes.” “The intruder did the dishes?” “Yes.” “The intruder did the dishes?” A second time, skeptically, “And left a sweet note.” You would clarify.
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150103
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ADXFEDL Super Punch
LDLLOPZ Unlimited Ammo
FFDVWTU Maximum Hit Points
JWEBUJN Mega-Jump
DSCXPOG No Hunger
EYENVDT Don't Need Sleep
PSDQUIV Infinite Lives
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9371
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Carl finished his beer, burped, crushed the aluminum can on the floor with his foot. “Oop, now we’re outta beer.”
“Alright, let’s send the dog.”
They did. They sent the dog. The first time Luther trotted down the sidewalk. The next time, Henry let t
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118664
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But I had learned from ingesting Roberto’s glitter-eyed fear, it could make you never close enough, and then, never far enough away. And both at the same time.
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105765
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We were offered mannequins that had pubic hair that grew and swirled, and could visit like a pet, and sit in your lap
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25743
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129300
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He took off his sombrero and playfully placed it on my head. “And really, don’t be upset. You’re fine. There’s nothing wrong with loving your cat.”
He was right, there is nothing wrong with loving your cat. But there is something wrong with owning a di
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128911
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I’d made it to the motel parking lot when I heard the footsteps. A sombrero may make me look good, but it does shit for my hearing, so the bastards were able to scoop me up real quick. The first one gave me a hard slap on the top of the head with an opene
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14451110
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he scans the headlines of the tabloids as he waits to pay. “Dog Accidentally Shoots Man With His Own Gun, Elvis's Hidden Extraterrestrial Daughter, Swedish Man Bursts Into Flames on Train Platform.”
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106521
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Bake sweet rolls and make love to your new wife, fall asleep for three years and grow a beard.
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105022
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"I have consulted the Internet," the man remarks, squatting low, sorting through a mountain of tablets. He snags two and stands slowly, confidently, and I realize suddenly that he is Moses. Two iPads, cradled surely in each wrist, glow with lists.
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