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How You Gonna Keep Him Down On The Farm?

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He decided to avoid startling her from the rear, which he recalled vaguely was a good strategy with any female.

Arcana Magi Memorial Vol.3 - c.3

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Sora collapsed on the wall to Azure’s squeals. She felt her arm lifted up and placed around Azure’s shoulder.

Small Talk

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Popping in to buy a tire gauge. Stumbling, drunk, on your way to buy cigarettes with two cops coming in behind you. You hold the door.

Liz

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I catch a glimpse of myself in the small mirror on the adjacent wall and find myself becoming shy at my own reflection, which is ludicrous in theory, shying away from oneself, but as I lock onto the few freckles I have spread neatly on both cheeks...

Camden Place

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A brown snake coils and nests around purple plums on his lap. I am thrilled he isn’t dead.

"The Game Is Rigged" (A 2nd Letter From Uncle Bernie)

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We used to have a saying: steal an old lady’s pocketbook and you’ll go to jail, steal her pension and you’ll go to the Ritz.

The Anchorman

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Welcome back to our ongoing coverage of what we mean when we say "Tsunami: A Very Bad Thing."

The Games We Play

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During the hangover, I crawl to my desktop computer and then Google “rapid STI testing” and “speedy divorce”

77 Words About Nothing (4.05.2012)

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I sold my ego to pay a parking ticket. And then I wrote 77 words about mental health.

The Old Man (The End)

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The dark staircase creaked as he crept down to the basement. The even whoosh-whoosh of the washing machine was comforting to him. He reached for the light as he entered the room. A dim bulb blinked on above him. There was a small table across the room f

Silver Moon Glimmer

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I walked around the mountains and the gravel roads that once were my home. The rain made tiny rivers in the clay that ran hard and fast, and I splashed in them until my feet were saturated and my hair was stuck to my face and in my mouth salty and I cried

Commander of the Armies of the Four Winds

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"Commander of the Armies of the Four Winds" concerns a nightmare endured by Commander Daniel Bennett of the San Diego Police Department after he is assigned to recover the stolen Necromancer Artifact, which purports to invoke nefarious spirits imprisoned

What's in a Name?

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[CAUTION: THIS CAN CONTAINS THE CAFFEINE EQUIVALENT OF THREE CUPS OF COFFEE. PEOPLE WHO ARE ELDERLY, PREGNANT, OR SENSITIVE TO CAFFEINE SHOULD NOT CONSUME THIS BEVERAGE!]

icing on the cake

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The sexuality comes over us in waves. We need to hold things, someone. The women, the men, side by side, our features blending together. We notice the small curved lines at the corners of the mouth. We notice everything. And the animal is still inside m

The Watcher

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the dark brown cloaked warden stands on his lofty perch

Poppy Seeds

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It might have had something to do with the boy’s pet hog, which was hulking, ageless, and liked eating poppy seed muffins

War Story: Veteran of a foreign war

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"Did you see any action?" I ask, hoping for a story. He points to a scar ripping through the chevron on his left arm but says nothing.

Eloise, Zander, and Me

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When I decided to travel the world, the first thing I did was leave my malice behind.

Battle of the Bulging British Bridesmaids

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A survey by "You & Your Wedding" magazine has determined that one in five British brides now requires her bridesmaids to sign contracts regulating their behavior and appearance.

Quit Complaining, Willya!

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"You think life is supposed to be easy? Whoever told you that? My life is anything but easy; still you don't hear me whining all over the place. And, trust me, I could teach you a thing or two about suffering.

TOUR GUIDES (Granada Studios 1989)

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Dancers, dunces and brides-to-be

just one more time, God, I promise

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The last time I was with Terry, she surprised me by crossing herself just before we had sex. She too had been going out with this Mario pimp, with his ski boat out on Fox River. The guy who was going around sniffing after most (if not all) of my old gir

Santa's Little Helper : A Memory

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“Well, Danny, what do you want for Christmas?”

Albatross Antics

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Track One Johnny Burkemeister, lead vocals and flutist of the band Albatross Antics, sits on his bed thinking in silence. His elbow rests on his knee, and his palm on his forehead with his fingers running through his dirty-blonde hair. He is staring at a copy of Paste…

Twin

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Brandon had never liked standing in line; it was a childish tendency he had never grown out of. What likely annoyed him the most was likely the stillness, the lack of motion despite everyone else's insistence that they were getting somewhere. And it was slow, too,…

ice on the bottom of the moon

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I saw ice on the bottom of the moon last night, and I always thought I knew what it meant to go without, but this is something else again. To be without you this long is exhausting, it could wither the soul to go on like this. There’s this head hanging,

Social Medicine

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Her Facebook profile was bursting with persistent prenatal posturing. She adored the adoration. And now Mrs. Davison’s pregnancy was almost over. This was her big, overblown, look-at-me-everyone, mind boggling finish!

13 confessions made by the Punchman, after being subjected to enhanced interrogation techniques

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1. It was never me operating Jack Ketch. I let someone else do it. Never saw his face. He smelt of burning oil.2. I stole from the kids' parents. While they watched the show, I sent my mates round to pick their pockets.3. I gave the arresting officers nightmares. It was…

Arcana Magi Pure Vol.5 - c.1

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Mayumi and Emi were in the spring’s together, center of the pool at shoulder depth. Emi stood in the center, letting its warm and clean air clear out her thoughts.

Mission of Mercy Brings Vowels to Kyrgyzstan

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“Me–I am too old for help now,” says Askr Bakyv. “But perhaps it is not too late for them,” he says, pointing to his son and two daughters. “They are the future.”