Stories tagged story

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She considered faking it. Would've done it, too, if she knew how; but she'd never had the courage to go for it before. Like, what if he knew she was faking? Would he stop and give her an accusing look like she just spit in his soup? The…

Why Carrie Brownstein Is Cooler Than You—Since She & I Are Part of the Same CADENCE—And I Can Explain My SOUL, Better Than You!

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[PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE THAT "FUCKING ADVICE" COLUMNIST "DANG SEWAGE" WAS GILLES DE RAIS—RAPER OF DEAD CHILDREN'S BODIES—IN A "PASSED" (BUT "FAILED" LIFE), AND HAS ONLY GRUDGINGLY BURNED OFF FEW OF HIS KARMIC RIBBONS, BEFORE "REVERTING" TO RACKING UP MORE!]

Saying It - Chap. 5 of The Sweet Spot

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At every point in my life, I was acutely aware that somewhere out in the world, Kyle was there, doing something that very minute, and I wondered if he ever thought of me at all.

Hemingway On Trash Day

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The morning sun rose up over the flat prairie, and the powdery snow crunched as you walked on it, and the air was so crisp it hurt as you took a breath. That is good, I thought. That is how you knew you were alive, and I was truly very alive, and there was not much to do so…

An Incarcerated Life

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The ruling stipulated that the plaintiff be allowed to return to her prison cell at once and that this residence henceforth be considered permanent. Leila smiled a lottery smile and then she returned home to the dampness, to the walls flaking and the flak

Life at the Red Diaper Baby Factory

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Von Meckel had us all go out and paint this huge red square around the Red Diaper Baby factory. Then he held a big naming rally, at noon, during our lunch break. We weren’t allowed to eat our sandwiches. There was all this pomp and circumstance. We were

ANYTHING FOR JOHNNY

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After nine months, I was granted early parole...

The Ruined Person

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The pit of my stomach was bottoming out, this lurching sort-of feeling one experiences when one has coasted WELL OVER an abyss and has no way of finding one's bearings . . .

Who Is Don Galt?

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Don Galt’s butterflies swallowed Peter Robinson’s holdings on a cool and cloudy December afternoon.

Unibrow: A Confessional

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I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with "unibrow" except Tsing Tao, which is a brand of Chinese beer....

They Laugh When You Cry

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The sudden sound of old night tires crunching sand, closer, louder, made her jump. The car’s engine bumped and banged like a wild caged bird, then sputtered out just beyond the kitchen window.

A Tale

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But you don’t know how to fly, Bunny! How ever will we survive?

Fantasy Wiring

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In the mechanics of the fantasy, it is essential that the wiring is maintained, all circuits working, every current flowing with the precise measurements, lest the system malfunction and the world completely lost. The engineers are constantly abuzz, constantly understaffed…

Why James Bopp, Jr., Decided to Just 'Chuck It' and Start 'Walking the Streets for Money' in Las Vegas, NV

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["Sorry, Charlie — GODDAMN TUNA!" "WHERE'S the MUTH-ah-FUCK-in' BEEEEF!" "DOUBLE your PLEASURE ... TRIPLE your GUM!"]

HOMONYMS

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Madison was not stupid, just uncultured. She knew nothing of England, but decided to travel from New York to Warwickshire to see Shakespeare's grave. She hoped to capture some sort of magic from seeing the playwright's tomb...